Baseball Magazine

Valentine Would Like to See More Intensity from Sox Bat Boys

By Callofthegreenmonster @cotgm

As the Red Sox continue on their journey of mediocrity, Bobby Valentine has identified a number of areas where he would like to see changes in the team's culture. Yesterday, at a press conference, just after giving an interesting take on Italian renaissance poets, Valentine surprised the media by focusing on what he determined to be another Sox weakness.

"Frankly, gentlemen, I am appalled at the lack of emotion and passion that I see from our batboys," he explained. "When someone fouls the ball back on our screen, I want to see the batboy sprint to that screen so that he's waiting for the ball to come back down.  I want all bats out of the way within two seconds after a player drops it. I want to see these guys out there hours before the game, honing their craft, and hours after the game in the weight room. We will have the best bat boys in the league, gentleman."

Twelve year old Bubbles MacGee, the veteran of the bat boy staff, shrugged when he heard Valentine's words.  "The guy's kind of creepy. But hey, if he wants to pull me out of Middle School so I can get to the park hours before the!"

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