Baseball Magazine

Farrell's "Let's Make Losing Fun" Speech Fails to Inspire

By Callofthegreenmonster @cotgm


He has tried to be the voice of optimism during a dreadful season. At every turn, manager John Farrell has stuck to his belief that a Red Sox resurgence was right around the corner. But as the losses upon losses piled up, Farrell recently tried a different approach to inspire his team.

"Look, I agree that we totally suck and that there's not going to be any run for this team," the skipper said, while flashing a smile. "I mean, come on, it's mathmatically impossible to win when you're averaging less than a run a game, right?  So here's what I say: Let's make losing fun!  Let's lose in the most excrusiating manner possible.  Let's blow seven run leads, let's make miracle comebacks and then lose anyway, let's score 12 runs and lose 13-12!  Let's keep telling people that we're going to go on a long winning streak! We can be creative.  We can make this a laugh-a-minute season."

Dustin Pedroia seemed less than enthused. "Really makes me want to come to work every day," he muttered sadly.  "I mean, has Farrell been watching the games?  We've already lost games all those ways. And I'm failing to see the fun in it."

Big Papi mulled the speech, then said, "I can still argue on every single strike called against me and whine about the scorekeepers, right?"

"Of course!" Farrell replied.  "Part of the fun of losing will be seeing our franchise player care more about his personal stats than actually winning the game!"

"I'm in, man!" Papi explained. "This is our f#%&*ing team! Nobody's gonna dictate our freedom!  On with losing!"

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