I write for sanity
Sanity is defined as the ability to think and behave in a normal and rational manner; sound mental health. Despite my appetite for acceptance, I write not to impress others but to heal the hidden wounds that haunt my soul. The truth is, I must quit denying reality and face my ugly…
Hide Me… Confession
I admit who I really am and what you think you see is all a lie. dysfunction is not a safe foundation to learn the art of true honesty. The harsh reality of abuse teaches us ugly life lessons.
My personal experience with abusive relationships taught me the art of flight. I became a Fragmented disbelief…Outside i smile but the words that poured out upon the pages of my journal proved contrary. These words spoke the true heart of the matter:
- Fear
- Depression
- Hopelessness
- Anxiety
- Insecurity
- Anger
- Guilt
- Shame
- Hate
I write for healing, this is my story…
Not so Innocent
This video was made at a very dark time in life, I would like to call confusion. With this childhood confusion came dyslexia, failing grades, anorexia, insomnia and panic attacks.
I made this video when I was 15 to say the things I couldn’t say
Poem “Untitled by me” written in 2007
So many lies fill her mind
Words that are still haunting
Fat, UGLY, Stupid
She is the infected
She wants to be free
She wants to see the light of hope
Her fragile heart is shattered
Sharp pieces stab her soul
Deceiving words constantly whisper in her ears
Help me she screams inside
She tries to fix herself
She is trying to hold all those little pieces together
To make it look like she is all right
when she is so obsessed to be someone else someone perfect
Always striving always pushing harder for perfection
Working out harder
Running faster as the world blurs by
She wonders if this is all worth it
Anorexia is infecting her
She Smiles, giggles, to get through another day
Watch the world passing by
Hiding from herself
Hiding from the mirror
Hiding from the world
Always looking down so they won’t see her eyes
Behind this mask of happiness
So they won’t see through all of her lies
She could be worth so much more
She could be changing the world
But instead the scales numbers imprison her
Encased by the images in her magazines
As she pushes her feelings deeper inside
As she let’s go of all her dreams
She has lost that hope that she once had
She never wanted to be like this
She never said when she was little
When I grow up I want to starve myself
What had happened Now she is obsessed with trying to fit in
Now she is trying so hard to get away from the lies
Forcing herself to keep going
Holding in the tears behind her eyes
Clouding her mind and her thoughts
She is the infected within
Just trying to break free
Because in the end all she has is what she wanted
She is thin
