Humor Magazine

The Sunday Rumble: 23.3.14

By Davidduff

'Footie':  As you may have realised over the years - er, you have been reading this blog for years, haven't you? - I am a 'take-it-or-leave-it' football fan.  I only watch the occasional match on the 'telly' and I do that with the sound off whilst reading a book!  However, because I am a regular early morning listener to 'TOOOOORKSPOOOOOORT' radio which burbles non-stop for 24-hours on the subject, I am actually quite knowledgeable, well, in a theoretical way, that is!  Even so, I am beginning to be hooked on the drama of it all this season.  Last Wednesday when 'Man U' were playing that unspellable Greek team and were already 2-0 down from the first match, I was so captivated I actually put my book down and the sound up which had the added advantage of driving the 'memsahib' into the kitchen!  They won 3-0 and thereby went through to the European Championship.  Then yesterday there was real theater (yes, I know that's an oxymoron!) when 'Rooney the Rug', with exquisite timing and skill from just inside the halfway line, lifted the ball up and over the dozy goalkeeper who had wandered too far from his line.  Everyone watching thought instantly of David Beckham's similar goal some 15 years ago and then, lo, the cameras swivelled and there sitting in the stands with his sons was the man himself applauding Rooney's shot.

 

So what do we really think of the EU?   Not much, according to a poll organised by Lord Ashcroft who, I suspect, 'Dim Dave' thinks is "a very naughty boy" because one outstanding result of this poll of 20,000 people shows a huge majority doubting Dave's ability to change anything very much as far as the EU is concerned.  It is also worth noting that on the big IN/OUT question, 4 in ten want IN, and 4 in 10 want OUT, so you fence-sitters had jolly well better do what I tell you if and when we ever get a referendum!  The most amusing item, almost equal to my "Political Joke of the Year" (see three below) is that according to 'The Sun - We Love It!':

British people have a more positive view of war-mongering Russia than of the EU, the poll shows.

The European Parliament comes fourth from bottom in a league table of 27 “liked” countries and institutions. Only SAUDI ARABIA and the rogue states of IRAN and NORTH KOREA were placed below it.

 

More rumbles later on . . .


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