Humor Magazine

The Sunday Rumble: 14.9.14

By Davidduff

Will 'MacChavez' win?   I dunno!  Nor does anyone else.  The polls are all over the place.  I fear that the decision either way may be very small which will be the worst of all possible outcomes because it means the interminable arguing will go on and on.  Alex Salmond is the epitome of the big-mouth agitator spouting emotional nonsense which he knows will appeal to the lowest common denominator.  Politically, of course, he is a national socialist (please note lower case lettering) and those sort of people have history.  One of the more recent was the late Hugo Chavez in Venezuela who led his people up the garden path and out into a desert.  Venezuela has bigger oil reserves than Saudi Arabia and after several years of rule by Chavez and his successor, the country is now importing oil!  Wake up, Scotland, before it's too late!

Wisconsin on my mind:  Yes, I might be up to my ears in cooking, housekeeping, shopping and nursing (feeling sorry for me, are you?) but I still try and keep half an eye on the Wisconsin election.  Even from this distance I have some considerable admiration for Republican Gov. Scott Walker who is a 'doer' not just a 'talker'.  Having won the Governorship against the odds he immediately took on the giant public service unions and their Democrat puppets and despite them using every trick in the book - he won!  One of his prime aims was to enforce voter registration and I am delighted to say that a suitably high-level court has endorsed the procedure.  Not, of course, that I am suggesting that Democrats would pay people, including the dead, to vote several times over - perish the thought!  Thanks to IHTM.

The Deltoid Tabernacle Choir warms up:  Well, as I told the little Deltoids during my last visit, they really do need to wrap up warm if they intend to take part in the march on New York to raise awareness of global, er, warming:

Called the “largest climate march in history” by organizers, the “People’s Climate March” will occur on Sept. 21st, a few days before the United Nations will attempt to draft a “global warming” treaty on the same level as the controversial Kyoto Protocol

According to reports temperatures have reach record lows across the north of America and several States have experienced heavy snowfalls.  The 'Deltoid Tabernacle Choir', an Aussie group whose rendition of 'I Belieeeeeeeeeeeeeve' is a hit the length and breadth of, er, downtown Goondiwindi in Queensland, need to take precautions against the freezing weather.

A pair of interesting loons #1:   There appears to be a plethora of loons around at the moment but I have chosen just two of them for comment.  By "interesting loons" I mean that they are mostly bonkers but in the highest traditions of English eccentricity.  The first is Peter TatchellAccording to The Coffee House, he has just been awarded some totally useless academic bauble in honor of his fight/agitation (you choose) on behalf of LGBTI (or is it ITBGL, or perhaps TIBLG? Oh, hell, I dunno!)  Anyway, in a spirit of generous pig ignorance he has 'donated' his bauble to the Palestinian Authority.  As Rod Liddle points out: 

Let’s just briefly compare the treatment of LGBTI people in those two territories, then – Free Democratic Palestine and the Vile Fascist Entity. 

The Palestinian National Authority awards the death penalty for homosexuals. In Israel homosexuality has been legal de facto since 1963 and de jure since 1988.

 Palestine does not allow same-sex adoptions or the recognition of same-sex relationships. Israel allows for both.

See what I mean about loons!

My second interesting loon:   I give you - Mr. Joey Barton, 'footie' player, thug, convict - and philosopher!  It is all too easy to write off Mr. Barton as an irredeemably thick, Scouse git whose mouth out-measures his brain by several factors of ten.  His record - innumerable yellow and red cards from referees, to say nothing of his jail-time for assault and the almost non-stop use of his mouth to no good purpose - is there for all to see and shake their heads at ... and yet ... and yet.  Henry Winter, an exceptionally good sports writer at The Telegraph, digs a little deeper and uncovers two interesting facets to Mr. Barton's personna - an ability to look at himself honestly (not many of us can do that!), plus, intellectual curiosity:

“I got in to a few scrapes. I was living this Peter Pan existence of never ever growing up. Emotionally I was stunted. Is football an industry that allows people to develop emotionally? I’d say not. That’s the nature of the beast. You’re one bad injury from the end. You are one bad season from a dramatic change to your earning capacity. In football you’re always building towards a cliff, and then you go over it. I know there’s a void at the end of my career. We are all insecure. I just mask it better than other people."


He has enrolled on a philosophy course at Roehampton University. “The other   students at Roehampton get annoyed with me at times because I can draw out   an hour lecture into two hours asking questions. I have an inquisitive brain. It’s the one thing I’ve been blessed with. In lectures I don’t think about how I can improve QPR [Queens Park Rangers]. I just think about the ultimate, about what we are here for.


“I carry a bag of books around with me at all times. I’m reading Machiavelli’s The   Prince. All the stuff in class at the moment is about dualism, materialism and Epicurus’ Letter to Menoeceus. In the physio-room we have a lot of debates. I come in and say: ‘This is the   question posed today: Is death bad for the person who dies?’ The lads will chip in. As a young footballer I made the stupid mistake of dumbing down.   Footballers aren’t dumb.

For what it's worth, I wish you well, Mr. Barton, you sound like the sort of man it would be worth having dinner with - and there aren't too many of them! 

Over here and over there it's the same old same old:  Janet Daley in today's Telegraph sums up exactly the malignancy which afflicts both Britain and America.  I will not attempt to summarise it because it really should be read in full.  However, I will add that I think one of the important factors behind the increased disillusion with our respective political classes is the fact that in these modern days we know so much more about them and the ways in which they manipulate the political process.  Just a generation or two back, all we knew about our political class was what was printed in the somewhat staid newspapers of the day.  Today politicians can barely pass wind without us receiving a whiff!  Thus, knowledge, or at least, partial knowledge grows - and with it, cynicism.  Not necessarily a good thing!


No rumbles today - I have the evening meal to cook!!!

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