Come back, Lord Grey, all is forgiven! Yes, you did rather craftily manouvre us towards WWI but you were right to do so and, in the final analysis, you ensured that Parliament had the last word on the subject. Also, you were admirable in your firmly held decision never to go abroad - not ever! Of course, yours was not an age of 24-hour TV news but even if it had existed I doubt that would have changed your mind. Any spare time you had was spent, wisely, watching birds in Northumberland, not shaking the greasy paw of some ghastly foreign potentate, or standing in front of the oiks from the dandruff-ridden media issuing futile statements. Instead of pandering to TV news and to the inflated egos of your fellow foreign secretaries, you spent time thinking! There's not much of that going on now, except in the Kremlin.
Let us start with the biggest humbugger of the lot who drones for America - and I do mean "drones" in all senses, what a peace-maker! - in the White House. I doubt he could actually point to Ukraine on a map of Europe! Not having much in the way of trade with Russia he is now making big gestures in that direction. I can't help wondering what his stance would be if, say, that southern peninsular just below San Diego contained more Americans than Mexicans and if the central Mexican government was taken over by an anti-American street revolution demanding more rights and privileges for Mexican citizens but not Americans. Would he sit idly by? Would the American media allow him to be idle? I don't think so!
Then there is President Hollande, le grand hypocrite, who is the leader of a nation busy building naval warships - for Russia! He might huff 'n' puff but there is no way he is going to risk losing that business, after all, he's not likely to get a similar order from bankrupt Ukraine! The there has been the vomit-inducing sight of 'Dim Dave' trying to look manly by sticking his chin out and pursing his little lips whilst he hints at all sorts of dire retribution for Russia if they don't do what he says. Putin must be flat on his back in the Kremlin, drumming his heels on the floor, helpless with laughter. And all these self-important prats jet around the world producing more CO2 than China and then in front of microphones billowing forth cubic miles of hot air - don't they know about global warming?!
The whole thing is a giant circus beyond the dreams of either Mr. Barnham or Mr. Bailey at their not inconsiderable heights. What would Lord Grey have done? Gone bird watching or fishing - and doing some quiet thinking while he was at it.
