Humor Magazine

The Mighty European Union Trips Over a Cypriot Twig

By Davidduff

So, the EU apparatchiks cleared the Irish hurdle, they scaled the Portuguese cliff, they ran the race with Spain, jumped over Italy, and there before them was the winning tape and just as they thought they had won - crash, bang, wallop - down they went, face first into the merde and scheisse, and all because of a  little Cypriot twiglet.  Whodathunkit?

And now the Cypriots, ungrateful, olive-eating peasants that they are, have rushed off, not to Brussels, but to Moscow where that very nice man, Mr. Putin, welcomes them with an open wallet in one hand and a cosh in the other behind his back!  Even Frau Merkel is squawking in alarm that Russia might step in with a load of dosh and buy out all the natural gas fields that lie off-shore from Cyprus.  That would allow the Cypriots to stick two fingers up to Brussels!  And how long would it be before the Russians put pressure on the Cypriots to rid themselves of British/NATO bases leaving us without a foothold in the eastern Med just as Egypt, too, hovers on the brink of bankruptcy and chaos.

The two biggest Cypriot banks are absolutely and definitely broke and it doesn't matter how long their authorities keep them closed, the minute they re-open there will be a run that will finish them off.  Spanish banks are in a similar condition and any sensible depositor in Spain will already be considering different options.  In the meantime, Italy staggers on without a government, although, on consideration, that might be an advantage given that European politicians couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery!

Could 'plucky little Cyprus' be the catalyst that brings about the downfall of das neue fränkische Reich?  A man may hope, so as we wait, why not join me in a little song:

The party's over

It's time to call it a day
They've burst your pretty balloon
And taken the moon away
It's time to wind up the masquerade
Just make your mind up the piper must be paid
The party's over
The candles flicker and dim
You danced and dreamed through the night
It seemed to be right just being with him
Now you must wake up, all dreams must end
Take off your makeup, the party's over It's all over, my friend.



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