Nearly a week ago one morning while walking in our village, thinking, and praying, the sudden sight of this little one on the sidewalk interrupted my stream of thought. This lifeless little bird helped me process something in a beautiful way. I thought to myself “bluebird” but more specifically it looks like a sort of cerulean kingfisher. It was so bright blue and beautiful in contrast to the concrete beneath it, the blue shade looked so alive it felt like such a pity that the bird wasn’t. Encountering this one at the moment when I did felt surreal but deeply moving at the same time. I couldn’t bear to leave him like this, vulnerable to native scavengers, so I took a nearby stick, dug a little bit beside a nearby tree and began burying it. It wasn’t a deep hole, just enough to cradle this pretty creature. Then I covered it with leaves.
A few of the thoughts I had were about relinquishing and surrender. It was something separate from Dad’s hospitalization. I recently had to let go of something just because God said so and you guessed right, He wouldn’t tell me why.
“5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. “PROVERBS 3:5 & 6
I tearfully couldn’t understand, but I knew God loved me and knew better so I trusted Him. Upon finding this bright blue bird on my morning walk days after my obedience God revealed one thing to me lovingly, what He asked me to release He didn’t see as an ugly thing, it was beautiful, but He still told me to let go. We only understand when He tells us to let go of “bad” things, but He also has all authority to take away good things. I had no idea what might have killed this bird I found but all I knew was that I couldn’t just run past it, I wanted to take time and bury it. I needed to trust and believe in the Lord’s faithfulness and abounding love for me. Just now I looked at what bluebirds or just generally birds that are blue represent symbolically, they represent “happiness”. God revealed to me that He knew deeply that my happiness linked to what I let go of had passed away but He wanted me to properly bury it. I wrote to a friend shortly after “…sometimes you need to bury them even without the answers, just because you need to.”
