Humor Magazine

The Biggest Poker Game in Town

By Davidduff

In fact, it's the biggest poker game in several towns - Athens, Berlin, Brussels, Rome, Madrid, Paris, to name but a few of the main players.  As is common in games of poker, bluffing is essential!  In this euro game there are several bluffers - or perhaps they're not bluffing! - starting with the Greek people.  Will they, or will they not, vote in the lunatic Leftie,  Alexis Tsipras, who is promising them an end to austerity and the bonus of enormous government handouts to such an extent that he sounds like Ed Miliband on speed!  The next bluff will come from Mr. Tsipras, himself, who is threatening a Greek exit ('Grexit') from the euro unless Greece is excused its debts and has austerity lifted from its back. 

According to Spiegel, his bluff is already being called from two directions.  First, the 'Kaiserin' is letting it be known that she is calm and imperturbable in the face of 'Grexit':

The result is that officials in Berlin and Brussels no longer subscribe to the so-called "domino theory," which held that a Greek collapse would be followed by others. It has been replaced by the "chain theory," which holds that the entire chain would become stronger were its weakest link to be eliminated.

Secondly, Mr. Tsipras knows full well that if he rats out on the euro and is forced to re-introduce the drachma then Greece will be faced with even worse austerity than they have already suffered.  In time, of course, a dirt cheap drachma will help lift Greece out of the doldrums but as any practicing politician will tell you, the one thing electorates lack is patience!

The other bluffers are Rome and Madrid.  The 'Kaiserin' is dampening down any expectations that they will follow the Greeks out.  In the near term she is probably right (unless she's bluffing!) but the continuing austerity in Italy and Spain is really hurting and nationalist/socialist parties are arising who are fervent in their desire to be rid of the euro - but again, maybe they're bluffing, too!

Meanwhile, in Paris, Presidente 'About Face' Hollande, is executing the nearest thing to a handbreak U-turn he can manage which is driving his own Socialist party into near civil war whilst the blonde bombshell, Mde. Marin le Pen, and her euro-sceptic party march on threatening (or bluffing) greater triumphs at the next election.

In the meantime, assuming 'Dim Dave' wins the next election, we can all look forward to watching this Old Etonian gent entering this den of thieves, gamblers and bluffers and negotiating a suitable deal for us.  Yeeeeeees, quite!


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