Community Magazine

The Bad & the Good

By Uglytruthis

From a young age I had religion shoved down my throat. The bible was used to beat my head in and twist the daily rules of life into something that made no sence. “Your body is a temple” was always the phrase used during being sexually abused. As you can imagine this was not really a good association of the love of God in my life….

When my parents finally divorced the summer after high school, my church pastors sat me down and told me how much my father loved me, and how bad of a daughter I was! Of course when we abruptly left my father he threw a major tantrum fit and called everyone on the planet who believed him and spread his ugly rumors all over the place to overt the attention off of who he was. A classic case of what he did all the time at the house anyway, crying like a little girl to get attention.

Never the less I am terrified to go to church again. I am terrified of basically  most things. Especially getting close to people. It easier to keep people at a distance and subconsciously end up finding some way to push them away.

The car is a place of escape. Sometimes when things get overwhelming I scream at the top of my lungs for help, because no one can hear me in there and think I am crazy. Sometimes I cry so hard I can hardly see the road. It is great form of releasing the things that need to be said. Hashing things out with God.

Sometimes in the car I listen to music and feel that God still loves me, and this is such an overwhelming experience. I am terrified to trust anyone or anything. I know that these are lies that must be faced head on. I know there is no other way to find peace. I ask God how he could love such a flawed individuals. I am yet to comprehend but I continue to press towards finding something real in faith. … There must be hope ahead.

I am not a mistake because of my father, and neither are you.

How do you feel about faith growing up and now? I would love to hear your stories.

Stay strong <3 you are not alone


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Big Food Giants Manipulate Public Health Policy in China

    Food Giants Manipulate Public Health Policy China

    Coca-Cola is at it again. As soda sales decline in the United States and Europe, beverage companies look to emerging economies like China for growth. And, it... Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Dietdoctor
  • Jewellery for a Precious You

    Jewellery Precious

    Jewellery is always close to a woman’s heart. It completes her look and boost confidence. Considering the changing trends in jewellery fashion, it becomes... Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Dr.jenifer Sayyed
  • Rajshri Productions’ Next Is A Film On Friendship | Hum Chaar | Trailer

    Abhishek Dixit’s debut feature film Hum Chaar is a Bollywood film made under the banner of Rajshri’s film. Hum Chaar is written and directed by Abhishek Dixit. Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Themoviean
  • Saint Paul the First Hermit

    Saint Paul First Hermit

    Today is the feast day of Saint Paul the hermit. This is a sweet and delicate Oatmeal Bread topped with rolled oats and naturally sweetened with agave. Saint... Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Veronica46
  • Irupathiyonnaam Noottaandu | Teaser | Pranav Mohanlal | Arun Gopy

    Arun Gopy’s Irupathiyonnaam Noottaandu is an upcoming Malayalam action-drama feature film starring Pranav Mohanlal and Zaya David in the lead roles. Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Themoviean
  • A Year Of Body Positivity

    Year Body Positivity

    Last January, as I sat there on New Years eve all set to make the same old resolutions I've made year after year for as long as I can remember, I realised how... Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Sparklesandstretchmarks
  • Garden Bloggers Bloom Day – Jan 2019

    Garden Bloggers Bloom 2019

    Euphorbia rigidaWhen I went out to take the photos for this blog post I was surprised at how much was in flower dotted around the garden. Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Patientgardener