Humor Magazine

Talking of Blood Sports . . .

By Davidduff

This would be a blood-fest of epic proportions and I for one would pay good money to sit ringside.  According to Fraser Nelson, editor of The Spectator, he has received a fascinating letter from 'a reader'!  It is addressed to 'Taki' Theodoracopulos, the 'zillionaire' author of the Spectator's High Life column. 

‘Dear Ms Taki [sic],

Although the Spectator is a lovely read, I always skip your column, I’m afraid.

I am simply not interested in your social life.  I know that you delight in telling readers that your friends of Prussian nobility find you hilariously entertaining company at their swanky Europoncy parties.

But it was very hapless of you to spring to Nigella’s defence last week, as she always found you toe-curlingly vile, and would have been aghast at having you as her valiant supporter.

People tell me that in your unreadable column you also like to brag that you are a Black Belt at karate. Well, me too, old boy. But apparently your ‘fights’ are genteel affairs, against other soppy geriatrics rolling around the floor in crisp white outfits, in some bit of judokai nonsense.

Mine take place in cages, 20 feet square, unofficial little events with no gloves, no rules, and the loser being carried out, usually battered to bits.  You will understand why I laughed out loud at your schoolyard boast that I should try throttling a real hard case like you.


Charles Saatchi’


Talking of blood sports  . . .
Talking of blood sports  . . .
        Charles Saatchi     'Taki' Theodoracopulos   'Taki' is a seriously good practitioner of karate, up to Olympic standards, I believe.  Having read his excellent columns for over thirty years that is no surprise to me but I never knew that Saatchi was a cage-fight specialist!  Well, the challenge has been extended and, apparently, 'Taki' has accepted:

‘I am 77 years old, 5ft 9in and weigh 185lbs. I am willing to face him any time under cage-fighting non-rules, which will be a first for me. I need three days’ notice.’

Fraser Nelson has offered the garden at the Spectator premises as a venue with all ticket proceeds going to The Boxing Academy in East London.  Now, if only 'Taki' could entice the lovely Nigella to be in his corner what a punch-up we could all enjoy!  And even more enticing if Saatchi could get his latest 'squeeze' in his corner then the girls could indulge in a bit of cage-fighting themselves.  Oh dear, I'm becoming rather excited  . . .


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