Humor Magazine

Speaking Ill of the Dead, It's What I Do So Well!

By Davidduff

Yes, indeed, I am such a malicious little monkey, am I not?  My only saving grace is that I usually spoke ill of them when they were alive, too!  Anyway, this time my target is not recently deceased, this one popped his clogs back in 2003.  I refer to the late, and in my case, unlamented, 'Woy' Jenkins, he of the inability to pronounce the letter 'r'.  He has resurfaced amongst the commentariat because a biography of him has just been published.  As far as I can tell from (favourable) reviews of the book plus my own somewhat vague memories, 'Woy' Jenkins managed to combine stupidity with cupidity and promiscuity.  Or, to put it another way, 'Woy was 'wong' about almost everything but enjoyed himself immensely whilst being so.  That he did so mostly at public expense - or my expense, as I like to think of it - only blows my latent embers into flame!

He was the son of a Welsh coal miner who ended up sounding and behaving more posh than Her Maj.  Apparently, he could have shagged for Britain at the Olympics which might have been a better way for him to spend his time instead of adding his political impetus behind driving this country into the EU, and also into the permissive age whose drunken, drug-addicted, sex-mad, criminalised participants grace our High Streets every Saturday night!  I don't begrudge him the odd shag, although I did rather curl my lip when I discovered that, amongst a long list of ladies, one of his most passionate and longstanding (no pun intended!) shags was with Anthony Crossland, another middle-class twat with an Oxbridge education but so dim he couldn't see the screamingly obvious flaws in socialism.  And, yes, I do know that Crossland was an ex-Para but I can only assume they dropped him on his head too many times!

Don't misunderstand me, I do not expect my political leaders to live like monks even if sometimes their behavior makes me wrinkle my nose.  But I do expect them to at least try and apply such minds as they have to the good of their country.  It was obvious from the very beginning, well, it was to the late Sir Nicholas Ridley, that the EU was simply "a German racket" but such base thoughts never reached the heights where-in 'Woy' kept what passed for his brains.

So again, and without apology, I can only say - good 'widdance' to bad 'wubbish'!


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog