Even 'Dim Dave' can no longer pretend that the light at the end of his tunnel is anything other than a high-speed express driven by Nigel Farage. So the urgent question of the day is what to do, starting, of course, with the politician's favourite - do nothing! And that option should not be ignored. It could be said, and probably is by some of his smooth courtiers, that Farage is a blow-hard who will eventually run out of puff. If, Prime Minister, they will be whispering, we simply make the right, er, that's right as in Right, noises towards Brussels which the 'colleagues', knowing our position, will understand and ignore that will take much of the wind from Farage's sails and 'the people' will trust us to look out for British interests, ahem, whatever they might be at the time, of course. And, Prime Minister, if we just make noises without actually doing anything then the Lib-Dems will whinny a bit but trot along obediently because they know that come the election they will be massacred. Thus, the only choice will be for 'the people' to summon up the courage to actually trust Labour with the economy (polite laughter all round). By and large, Prime Minister, whether they enjoyed the experience or not, 'the people' have now learned a few basic economic truths concerning government borrowing and spending and so long as Ed Balls remains shadow Chancellor he is our greatest weapon.
But then another courtier will demur and warn that what we are seeing now is the deadly calm before the electoral tsunami hits. Now is not the time to shift the deckchairs around on the beach but instead we should make for the high hills and dominate the view. The one certain action which will lead to a mass return of Tory voters (and even a considerable number of Labour ones, too) is an 'in/out' referendum before the next election. Let Labour and the Lib-Dems oppose it as loudly and as hysterically as possible, it will merely serve to strengthen our appeal to the electorate and as we know that a bill for such a referendum is unlikely to pass the Commons then we lose nothing!
An even more suave and subtle adviser is John Redwood. He reminds Dave that whatever else the country voted for at the last election it was for a European federalist parliament. They might not have seen it in quite those terms but that is the reality. Since then, however, the mood has been changed by "events, dear boy, events" and the Tories need to respond. He suggests a private member's bill, supported by the Tory part of the government, to hold a fairly immediate referendum asking the country if they approve of HMG immediately setting in train efforts "to negotiate a new relationship with the EU based on free trade and political co-operation?” That would neatly skewer the other parties who would be forced to chose between going along or going against a huge swathe of public opinion. Equally, a British prime minister would have a very strong hand in dealing with the 'colleagues' if it was known that the end result would be placed before the electorate for approval - or not!
The problem with that is two-fold. First, I don't trust 'Dim Dave' who is no Maggie Thatcher to be capable of such a tough re-negotiation, and I trust even less the Europhile creeps in the 'Office for Foreigners' who would be advising him. Second, within days of an agreement being reached the great creep would begin, by which I mean that in exactly the same way that what started (allegedly, according to the lying liars of the day) as a free trade agreement turned gradually under the slow, silent pressure from the apparatchiks in Brussells into almost political federation. The same process will begin all over again.
So, if you were Dave, what would you do?
