Humor Magazine

Shoot a Moose? I Can't Even Swat a Fly!

By Davidduff

In a comments thread somewhere 'down there', my e-pal, JK, draws attention to a hunting story:

If like me you are of a delicate disposition do not read it!  When it comes to hunting for sport, as opposed to hunting for food, I just do not 'get it'.  In particular, when it comes to those three dim-wits with their high-powered rifles and telescopic sights, standing around the corpse of their prey with big dopey grins on their faces, I am minded to seize their guns and tell them, to use a current Americanism, that 'they can run but they can't hide' before sending a warning shot over their thick heads.  I mean, what is the point of it all?  What have they achieved?  And did shooting that magnificent creature require courage or real skill?  Nah!  Just sit around waiting at a very safe distance before pulling a trigger.  Now, if the 'sport' consisted of going into the forest alone armed only with a spear, as our ancestors had to do, then I would call that 'a sport' because at least it would require courage and skill and the intended victim has a chance.  Gazing at those smug bastards striking poses over the dead body of that slaughtered animal, what I wanted to see was an enraged grizzly bear burst out of the bushes determined to even the score.  See how those 'sportsmen' liked 'them apples'!

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