On seeing this photo in The Mail today I was reminded why 'footie' managers are the funniest thing since circus clowns:
All these two clowns need are the red noses, the baggy trousers and a pail of water each. For the non-footie fans amongst you, let me explain that the one with the flying red tie (it should have been a spinning bow-tie, in my opinion) is Arsene Wenger, the manager of Arsenal F.C. and a man 'oo eez soo Frenchie-poo' he makes the late Gen. de Gaulle sound positively Atlanticist! The one with the pretty dimples is the Chelsea F.C. manager, Jose Mourinho, also known as the man who put the 'F' into Flamboyant.
The photo shows them enjoying a 'handbags at dawn' moment on the sidelines of yesterday's match. I don't quite know what it is about footie that makes grown men go off on one like a pair of girls at a party realising they are both wearing the same dress. You can, sort of, understand the actual players becoming a little heated as, say, the star centre forward realises that the right back on the other side seems fairly determined to break his leg in at least three places, but these middle-aged men in their £1,000 suits and hand-made shoes simply look ridiculous. This is because, in a very deep and meaningful way, they are ridiculous! They cavort about on the touchline waving their arms and shaking their fists and afterwards, when forced to face the ratbags of the media, they produce endless streams of clichés and so contorted are their speech patterns that it is is to difficult to tell the foreigners from the Brits - except possibly that the Brits intersperse their tedious spiels with rather more grunts than the foreigners.
It is true that you cannot rely on me for an expert opinion on footie because, as some of you regulars will know, my method of actually watching footie is somewhat eccentric in that I have the sound off and read a book, only glancing up from time to time to realise that I have missed all the goals! And now, of course, since my falling out with my ex-best mate, Rupe, because of his ridiculous charges, I now 'watch' very little footie. Happily, the 'pat-a-cake-pat-a-cake' incident above was repeated on the news and cheered me up no end because I realised that I am not the only silly old fool who should know better - as the 'Memsahib' describes me!
