Humor Magazine

Please, Mummy, Can I Be Cruel to Lefties?

By Davidduff

Well, no, of course one shouldn't be cruel to anyone, even deluded old Lefties slowly creeping towards death and disillusion.  But then again, one thinks of the horrors they would have inflicted on us if they had enjoyed half a chance and the urge to hurl stones becomes irresistible.  The death of 'that woman', of course, reminds us how close they came to doing just that back in the '70s when it was increasingly clear that the burden of state-social-democracy piled on our national shoulders by Clem Attlee and added to by every government, red or blue, since, simply wasn't working.  The choice was clear, either more socialism and never mind too much about the democracy, or, a return of sorts to the liberal free-market democracy of the 19th century.  Fortunately, just in the nick of time (why is Britain so damned lucky in times of crisis?) the right person came along and, in effect, made up our minds for us.

I am provoked to these thoughts by two posts at Dave Ostler's place.  The first, posted immediately on news of the death of 'that woman', was an open thread and is barely worth trudging through given that it is mostly a mixture of mindless drivel and bile.  The second, authored by Dave Osler himself, came a little later yesterday as Mr. Osler composed his thoughts.  Alas, it was surprisingly thin stuff given the target and from a usually thoughtful man. He likened her to La Pasionaria, a particularly stupid Spanish woman who, in the style of so many '30s communists never looked further than the end of her nose and thus trod through the blood without noticing, and that struck me as a rather thin and glib comparison.  He trotted out (no pun intended!) some particularly trite remarks from that despicable and dimwitted, little shit, Karl Marx, which did not bear more than two seconds consideration before they evaporated - much as Marxism has.

Dave Osler is, I would judge, a man with whom I would enjoy a few beers - although the reverse may not be the case!  He does, in the usual Marxist sense, 'analyse' matters but in writing an epitaph to 'that woman' he seems not just bereft of words but of thoughts also.  In this, he stands as an icon for the Left who to this day remain "bewitched, bothered and bewildered" by the her victories in this country and the outstanding victory of her philosophy worldwide - is it too much of a stretch to propose that perhaps the market reformers in China were encouraged by her?  Anyway, today the Left is best illustrated by that scene in the film of 'Les Mis' when the childish revolutionaries were blasted off their pathetic barricade by a couple of volleys from the artillery.  All that remains today are the comic antics of the Socialist Workers Party, or whatever they call themselves in their current form - like bacteria they keep splitting and evolving into new forms each more useless than the first.  

So, to return to my question, should we be cruel to the Lefties?  Well, it's a 'no brainer', isn't it? - pass me a few stones!

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