Before you 'go ape', please note the ironic exclamation mark at the end of my title. However, as we 'over here' slog through the most dreary, useless, irrelevant and puerile general election campaign I can remember, we should spare a thought for 'the cousins' who are facing much the same 'over there' except, of course, being American it is all so much bigger and longer and, one suspects, even more puerile.
Now look, I don't mind being bribed, even if I know deep down inside that I am being bribed with my own money! But the sort of largesse being poured over us all by a collection of the most futile, useless and corrupt politicians I can remember is of such magnitude that it has become an insult to what passes for my intelligence. Zillions for old-age pensioners (hoorah!), zillions-plus for the NHS and more doctors and nurses, zillions-plus-plus for affordable(???) housing, zillions-plus-plus-plus for hundreds of new schools and teachers ... but ... at the same time, of course, the deficit will be cut and the national debt reduced. Eh? What? How do you that, then? Answer cometh there naught! One's suspicions, however, point to the good, old, tried and tested printing presses in the Bank of England where they can churn the money out all night and day.
I am disappointed in the polls but take comfort from the fact that they rarely if ever show the 'Don't Knows' or the 'Fuck Offs, I've got better things to do than answer silly questions' who are, of course, the people likely to decide the result of the election in the privacy of their polling booths. Given that all the Party leaders are more or less looney and that 'Dim Dave' is the least looney of the lot, I am surprised that he has failed to drive the Tories to something (anything!) of a lead by now as we approach the halfway point of this slugfest. I did suggest that one or two, or even three, good ideas based on ideas of economic liberation about which he and his party could become excited and thus pass some of the enthusiasm over to us might provide a galvanising effect. Not only have they failed to do this, the Tories led by Dave have failed to even pretend to be enthusiastic about anything other than getting their fat arses back onto those green benches.
Someone wake me up when it's all over!
