Humor Magazine

'Oh to Be in England Now the Election's Here!'

By Davidduff

My goodness me, how bountiful those nice politicians are as the 'goodies' rain down from the sky.  Truly, political parties are 'the gifts that never stop giving'.  Every morning 'my cruise through the news' brings me tidings of great joy.  Absolutely and definitely on my mother's eyes, say the pols, no more tax rises and no more new taxes.  Thank you, guv'nor, I say whilst tugging at my cap out of respect.  And, they all rush to add, zillions more on the NHS, pensions, minimum wages, schools and, er, well, anything else you fancy, really so long as you're a voter.  What's that, they ask, you need some help buying your first home, relax, here's a nice 'wedge', several thousand 'smackeroos' to get you started all courtesy of the "Lyin' Eyes" party.

It is all deeply, deeply depressing.  Do they take us for fools?  Well, yes, actually they do, and what's worse is that they are right!  When the best available option is 'Dim Dave' there is only one thing for me to do - leg it across the road to The Tippling Philospher and indulge in some serious tippling and some not too serious philosophising!

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