Humor Magazine

Now the 'Scots Nuts' Can't Even Rely on Their Whisky Exports

By Davidduff

So, as the Scottish oil industry vanishes along with Alec Salmond’s smug smirk, now he has even more problems – sales of Scotch whisky have fallen.  Yes, I know, MacShockin’, MacShockin’ but I blame the Yanks!  According to Ms. Rebecca Burn-Callender in The Telegraph - and by the way, chaps, she looks a real sweetie so I’m feeling better about my £60 already – exports to America have dropped by 9%!  You would have thought that after six years of Obama and the prospect of 18 months non-stop electioneering (and we moan about five weeks!) plus the prospect of ‘HillBilly’ leading the nation that they would need all the Scotch they could swallow!  However, I do have it from an impeccable source in Arkansas – no, no, I will not divulge his name – that much of the blame can be laid at the door of Mr. Barney Magroo who has flooded the American market with what purports to be vintage single malt - kept in the barrel overnight - yes, as long as that!   

Alex Salmond defends TV debate performance

    Before   After

So, with worldwide falling sales of whisky plus the Scottish oil industry being forced to sell at rock bottom prices and thus relying on support from London, no wonder 'Smug Alex' looks a bit down in the dumps.  Never mind, Alex, have a wee dram, it'll cheer you up!  

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