Humor Magazine

Not So Much Bleeding Hearts, More Like Bleeding Arses!

By Davidduff

That's not a very tasteful heading, is it?  Sorry, it was the best I could come up with in this short break between sundry domestic jobs but it does, sort of, sum up a recent opinion poll 'over there' reported on by Ross Kaminsky for The American Spectator.  Apparently, the Great American Public, to whom I now kneel in admiration, was asked to compare their Congress with several other entities and pick which they preferred.  The result was that the following were deemed more acceptable than Congress -  witches (46/32), jury duty (73/18) and hemorrhoids (53/31).

The last item was worth investigating further which Mr. Kaminsky was happy to do by analysing the difference in, er, taste between Republicans and Democrats.  According to him, 41% of Republicans managed to prefer Congress over hemorrhoids but Democrats could only raise 21% and Independents 27%.  Mr. Kaminsky sums up the result thus:

I’m not sure just what it says about Democrats and Independents that they prefer
anal bleeding to a Congressman by a 3:1 ratio, not that Republicans are that far
behind in the sentiment. I guess the idea is that you can make a hemorrhoid go
away with a tube of cream you can buy for a couple of bucks at Walgreens.

Now, for my Brit readers, I am going to show you all pictures of Mr. Cameron, Mr. Miliband and Mr. Clegg plus an enlarged photo of a hemorrhoidal arse-hole and . . . what are you doing? . . . why are you switching off in droves? . . . where are you going? . . . for goodness sake, 'man up', they're only photos and those three blokes aren't that ugly!

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