Nooses and Puppets

How am I going to do this alone? I'm too terrified of everything; I can't even call someone I don't know without freaking out. I'm useless in this world bound by rules and expectations so warped that people like myself have no hope of following our dreams - we are dangling from nooses made of the puppet strings we were given at birth. How am I going to support myself? I've only ever existed as a 'productive member of society' with the aid of boyfriends who couldn't see the rope around their limbs. Now I'm alone in this. I keep hoping that Mr C. will suddenly decide he wants to find somewhere to live with me - a van, a boat, a nice spot in the woods are all perfect abodes. We could do that together with a bit of hard work, but I can't do it on my  own. I can't do this on my own.

I was not made for this world. This is something I remember first thinking when I was in primary school. Trapped in the wrong realm of existence.
I've been emailing supported housing places for the past three weeks and have received automated replies and a request for more information which I gave in response. No reply. I sent another email this morning, asking for confirmation that they received my application - hopefully I'll hear back from them soon. Fingers and toes crossed.
L x
Follow my blog with Bloglovin