I felt my heart sink when my 8 year old asked me recently.
The fact is, she's been to a birthday party before. When she was 4. Yes, just one. And it was obviously so long ago that she can't even remember.
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I have mentioned how my husband and I are considered young parents. We aren't that young anymore, really, but relatively, we are quite young. Especially to have an 8 year old.
The other day, we bumped into Husband's colleague at a restaurant. His colleague asked how old our daughter (who was in school) was and when we said 8, he asked "How old are you kids???" {Apparently, people at my husband's workplace think my husband's 21 or something around that mark}
When my husband told him how old he was, his colleague said "Well, you sure didn't waste any time mucking around, did you!" *in the restaurant, yes* *And yes, another one of those things I'm supposed to accept as blokey 'humour'*
The last time we took Ally to a birthday party, I should have apologised because we must have stole the attention from the birthday girl {just being a little dramatic here}.
When we entered the house, there were already probably 5 pairs of parents. They all stopped to look at us, whisper and mutter their what-nots. The host parent finally broke the silence and said "Wow, you guys are so young!", having probably expected to see a pair of 30-something parents (as most of the other parents were).
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They asked if we wanted to hang around. We politely declined.
These days, it's not a matter of taking Ally to birthday parties and being stared at.
These days, it's the lack of birthday invites.
The other day, my daughter said Anna* told her that they weren't real friends because she and Hannah* were real real friends as their parents hang out and their families go out together outside of school. {names have been changed to protect the children's identities ;) }
I don't know. Besides another mom whom I have briefly chatted to just once, I haven't actually spoken to any other mums. They are all in their own cliques and I am used to getting stared at. Maybe they wonder if I'm a babysitter as I look relatively young and Ally & I have literally different skin colours. Maybe they wonder how freaking old I am exactly. Maybe they don't think I can speak English since I look Asian which must mean I am from China and obviously people from China don't speak English {sarcasm very much intended}{more racial stereotype encounters another day...}
And believe it or not, I think especially in a small town, my mingling or lack of mingling with other parents can actually affect my daughter's friendships.
Ally said she wasn't invited to another child's birthday the other day and she said the mother of the birthday child was passing invites to other mums whom she obviously personally knew. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and I really couldn't be too bothered about kids' birthday parties.
It's just a little sad when I realize that my daughter is starting to think for herself and starting to wonder about things - more specifically, if her parents have something to do with why she's not been to birthday parties (kind of) or even been invited.
Maybe a fellow blogger {Sorry Victoria but we didn't exchange details in our 5 minute convo; I would love to know but you didn't tell me your blog!} I recently met at the NSW Blogger Brunch put it aptly when she told me she blogs about being a young parent and asked me: "Do you feel like you get judged more when you are a young parent?"
Yes.
Could it in turn affect your child? Yes, quite possibly.
Just a story from the other side of the coin....
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT today!
