I have been thinking profoundly about me turning 40 in a few days, and I must confess that it's not as scary to me as it was when I turned 30.
At 29, I remember being concerned about leaving my twenties behind, I felt as if my youth was slowly running away from me. I started wondering if I accomplished enough if I had learned from my mistakes and if I was ready at all to be at that stage in my life. I also started worrying about my appearance, will I soon get wrinkles around my eyes? Should I start dressing differently? Are others expecting me to act more mature? I definitely had many questions and didn't really know what to do.
Fortunately, I had a talk with my boss at the time who happened to be a 40 something Asian lady (who didn't even look anywhere past 35 by the way) She had some insight about my concerns. She told me that my worries were valid but that I shouldn't be scared. She said that for her, the thirties were the best years so far, because; when you're in your twenties, you really don't have a clue about what you want to do with your life yet, you're just trying to figure that out. But at thirty, you start getting a clear idea of what you want your goals to be and have a better sense of how you plan to achieve them. Then she added that it's not until you turn 40 that you actually get a better understanding of your life, that you stop pretending to be who you're not, your mind is made up and by this time you have learned to accept yourself the way you clearly are. She also said you stop giving a damn about what others think. Needless to say, the lady was wise beyond her years and truly looked accomplished and happy. I remember wishing then how I would love to be able to say the same thing when It was my turn to be 40.
Now that I've finally reached that point I have to admit that I don't feel that much different (more grown up) than I did when I was about to turn 30. Yes, as I said earlier I don't feel scared, I accepted that turning 40 is a fact and that it's something I have no control over it and should embrace it. I'm also not worrying about getting wrinkles and I won't be trying to change the way I act or the way I dress. However, I still have concerns about where my life is heading. I will like to have a clearer perspective on my long term goals. I would like to already have the rest of my life plan. I'm talking about, having my retirement fund secure, making sure my daughter will have enough to go to college, and knowing that she and my love ones will be safe if anything was to happen to me.
I am aware that most of these concerns can be solved, but they're something I will continue to work on. Meanwhile, now, I also started worrying about how soon the next decade will come! And it is extremely scary to ponder about! I will be a 50-year-old women!
My gynecologist recently told me that, even though I felt that going from 30 to 40 happened so fast, that I will notice how slowly time will go from 40 to 50 and I have to say I really hope she's right! And I know that when the time comes I will be prepared!Fifties here I come! This misbehaving woman will not stop at anything or for anyone and will be hard at work making my dreams a reality.
How about you? How did you feel about turning 40 (or 30 or 50 or any new decade?)
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