You see, that's all it takes, a favourable mention in these very distinguished columns and you're made! Only the Sunday before last I wrote favourably of Mr. Sajid Javid (scroll to the bottom of my 'Sunday Rumble') and, lo, today he is a cabinet minister. Alas, poor chap, he is now boss of the more or less useless and irrelevent Department of Culture, Arts, Sports, Paper Folding, Three-wheel Cycle Racing, Rolling Round Cheeses Down Hills and, er, well anything else, really. Still, Sajid, old lad (or perhaps 'young' lad is more accurate) you have almost exactly one year to make a big name for yourself. It shouldn't be too difficult because the entire country is sports mad so there should be opportunities there, although you need to be careful, 'hearties' are always enormously tribal, bit like Sunnis and Shi-ites which you would understand being a Muslim. I would suggest making a start by revoking Andy Murray's passport if the Jocks vote to leave the UK, everybody would be in support of that. Then you could remove all subsidies from our 'nationalised' theatres which would instantly earn you my support which, given the huge readership of this blog, is not to be sneezed at - well, you might blow it away!
Anyway, from everything I have read about you I gain the strong impression that you might be destined for high office, perhaps the highest. Having earned a few zillions in the City by virtue of your intelligence and a ferocious work ethic inherited from your bus-driver father - I write as a proud ex-bus-driver, myself! - plus the negative positive (if you know what I mean) that you never went to Eton, I shall watch your progress with interest.
