Humor Magazine

Juxtaposing Drudge!

By Davidduff

In my search for ever more enigmatic titles, the one above isn't bad!  I confess that when I open up my computer every morning one of the first sites I visit is Drudge.  A quick skim-read of his headlines gives me a feel for the day's news.  However, some times I am struck by the absurdities that arise from the juxtaposition of different stories on one page.  Take today for example.

President Obama who, whatever else he might be, must surely be the idlest president for some time, finally flew to California because that state has been suffering the exact opposite of what we are suffering in England, that is, a disasterous lack of rainfall.  Their huge hinterland which is intensively farmed to produce fruit of all sorts, but particularly melons, now resembles the Gobi desert.  Farmers and their workers are really suffering, as is the Sate of California which is technically broke already without losing the vast revenues arising from their agricultural industry.  The situation became so critical last week that President 'Lazybones' actually got off his black arse and flew to California to commiserate.  After a speech or two in which he stressed the need for, er, "shared sacrifice", he obviously felt the need for some R&R and so he took advantage of local 'zillionaire' hospitality and stayed the weekend during which he manage three rounds of golf on what swampland.time.com called:

the state’s top water hogs: desert golf courses.

[...]

The 124 golf courses in the Coachella Valley consume roughly 17% of all water  there, and one-quarter of the water pumped out of the region’s at-risk  groundwater aquifer, according to the Coachella Valley Water District.  Statewide, roughly 1% of water goes to keep golf courses green. Each of the 124  Coachella Valley courses, on average, uses nearly 1 million gallons (3.8 million  L) a day because of the hot and dry climate, three to four times more water per  day than the average American golf course.

The stench of rancid humbug has added to the woes of the drought-impoverished farmers.  Further down the Drudge page there is a heart-rending story from the NY Daily News concerning the Clowns of America International (bit of an oxymoron in that name but, heh, they're clowns, aren't they!) bemoaning the fact that there are insufficient new volunteers for this esoteric occupation.  Is it too obvious to point them towards the White House?  Or if they're really desperate they could try Congress!

The Bible Satan Obama Split - H 2013

  President Obama        Satan

Then Drudge produces yet another Obama story, this time from the Hollywood Reporter which claims that a scene from a new film based on the Bible has had to be cut because the actor playing the role of Satan is a dead spit for Obama!  The devil is usually in the detail, so they say, but this time, according to the scaredy-pants producer. he's on the cutting-room floor!

"All the world's a stage", said old Will, and sooner or later you'll find it all on Drudge!


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog