Why is it so hard to find your voice when it comes to writing ? I guess for some it comes naturally like speech, personality and tact but, for me it is hard. In writing I have times where I feel 100% confident in what I have put down and others where I feel as though I’ve written complete garbage. To be honest, I have written all types of short stories and unfinished books only to read it back and go “this isn’t good enough” or “this is not going to move/sell”. Then of course there are those articles/blogs I write that I know are maybe not the best but, in that area it’s time related. There are simply so many other blogs competing for hits on the same subject. Even though I shouldn’t pay that much attention to that, I do. Mainly because I have to find some way to differentiate myself from what everyone else has. I’ve always been that way, across the board. If everyone in the neighborhood has a Chevy Impala I want a Camry, if everyone else is going to this school, I want to go to another. And I digress.
Yesterday, I finally received the copyright for my latest work and I’m excited about it. It has been months since the process began of wrapping this project up. It will be the first book I put out and while it’s exciting, it is scary as f***. I’m concerned about how people are going to perceive me after they read it or even glimpse at the synopsis. I’m concerned about the quality of the work, whether people will read it and pass it on. A couple weeks ago I posted pieces from the book on a website, wanting to get feedback from people who completely have no idea who I am or anything like that. In other words, I wanted unbiased opinions. So far, the feedback has been really good and I’m happy about that. **breaths sigh of relief***. But that is just a small group of people. In this book I really had no problem finding the voice needed to put it all on the table. The book is sort of half half…fiction and non fiction. The story involves a past relationship and I guess that goes without saying, you write better when you can speak from experience. Yes, there are a number of things changed but, for the most part my inner thoughts about what happened, why I couldn’t agree with something and why it all ultimately fell apart are in the book. I was listening to an interview an actor did a couple days ago and I have to agree that, it was Levar Burton come to think of it, there are those things in our lives, creatively that we are meant to produce. Mr. Burton, who I grew with in watching ‘Reading Rainbow’ (yeah I’m old now), said of a certain role that he was overcome like he was mean’t to portray that role and it was an out of body experience. While I’m no Levar Burton, I have to say this project came together quick. I just wrote and wrote and wrote for about two weeks non stop and wrapped it up about a month and half later (due to other obligations). It was something I couldn’t stop. I would sit writing for hours on end like I was going through each scene, picturing what emotions I would have felt, what those around the character would have felt etc… things I wouldn’t even think of normally came flowing out to a point where I go back and read (editing) what was written and I’m like “I wrote that…damn”.
As I sit here now, listening to near completely silence (other than the birds and sounds of traffic off in the distance), I realize that voice found me (that sounds crazy but oh well). What needed to be in the book, this project, came out easily. Effortlessly.
End of blog…
