Probation didn't take light to me.
Now this alcohol monitor was serious business. I had to blow into a removable straw which attached to a small opening in the machine. The machine had a camera attached to it, and directly after testing, it would take a picture of me. That way the probation department knew it was me testing and not someone else testing for me. I was told that if I violated, I would be taken to jail. Violations included testing positive for alcohol or missing numerous test. Using mouthwash that contained alcohol was also considered a violation so it was in my best interest not to use it. During this time, I was also required to submit to random drug and alcohol testing. I had to do this for a year and a half. I had to call a phone number seven days a week and listen for a color that was given to me for testing purposes. My color was purple. I remember it because I thought of the movie, The Color Purple. As part of the drug and alcohol testing, I also had to submit to something called ETG testing. ETG is a urine test that traces back up to 3 days and checks your urine for traces of alcohol. The alcohol monitor cost about $400 and the drug and alcohol testing was $26 every time they called my color. This was all part of my probation.
Me at my parents house testing on the alcohol monitor.
Unfortunately, I had some initial problems with the alcohol monitor. The probation department had sent me something in the mail prior to the instillation that said that I needed a land-line at my residence. I hadn't heard the word land-line in years and barely knew what it was because I had been using a cell phone for the last 8-9 years. I figured I'd ask them exactly what they needed from me the next time I had to report to probation. The day I was supposed to pick up the alcohol monitor, I drove (on a suspended license) to the probation department and they asked me if I had a land-line. I told them "no" and I wanted to ask them some questions about it. They told me that I was supposed to have that taken care of before I got there. The land-line was to act as a line of communication between me and the probation department. They told me that a phone chord had to be attached to the back of the alcohol monitor in order to communicate with the device. They told me that I needed to find someone who had a land-line, and I'll have to live with that person until I could get one installed at my apartment. They said I had to do it now or they'll put me in jail and I would have to use the jail phone to call and find someone with a land-line. I remember being at the probation department just going crazy in the head. All of this was happening so fast. I was loosing my money, freedom and now my sanity. All I could do was call my parents. I called my mother and got no answer. I called my step-father and he answered. I told him the situation and he said I could use their land-line. They had just got one installed with their new cable and internet. So I took my alcohol monitor and headed to my parents house.
"Dang. You're back already."
When I got to my parents house, I remember sitting in the living room and everything just hitting me at once. I hadn't even lasted a year on my own; within 7 months I was back at home with my parents. Even my parents two dogs were looking at me with a look that read, "Dang, you're back already." I was a jobless, college dropout who had allowed alcohol to ruin my life. Between the D.U.I.s, probation, suspended license, the alcohol monitor, the random drug and alcohol testing, the money spent on court fees and the fact that I was still spending $605 a month for an apartment that I wasn't even living in, I just started crying right there in the living room. My breathing got so heavy that I almost began to hyperventilate. I remember my step-father coming downstairs and saying "hello" to me and me not even being able to respond. My heart was so heavy that I couldn't even get any words out. My future was beginning to look more and more bleak and I was nervous and scared. This was the first time in my life that I truely felt like a "Hopeless Dope."
