Humor Magazine

In Which My Interest in 'footie' is Re-awakened

By Davidduff

 

I know, I know, I've told you before 'many a time and too oft' that my method of watching 'footie' on the 'telly' is to have the sound off, merely glancing up from time to time to realize that I have missed all the goals!  That might sound daft to you but consider for a moment. Most of what goes on during a 'footie' match is totally tedious with all that 'tippy-tap' passing, usually backwards, very occasionally sideways and only rarely forward.

However, 100 years after the first time, we are again indebted to Serbia for injecting some excitement into our lives!  Yesterday, they were playing Albania and during the course of the match an Albanian, who can only be described as "a very, very naughty boy" sent off a small drone bearing the Albanian flag.  This was steered, allegedly by the brother of the Albanian prime minister who was present, across the pitch at head height - although he denies it vehemently.  It was caught by a Serbian player and at that point all hell broke loose - just like last time!  The Austrians insisted on a 10-point grovelling apology from Serbia, the Russians mobilised, the Germans blew the dust off the Schlieffen plan (nah, they never really got rid of it!), the French insisted on the immediate return of Alsace-Lorraine, forgetting in their excitement that they already had it, and the British, in the form of the referee, blew a whistle.  The Sea Lords at the British Admiralty spent all last night searching for the British fleet.  A spokesman said that they knew it had to be somewhere but they had put it down and no-one could quite remember where.

Anyway, if this is the new style 'footie' then I shall watch it with the sound full up!  Let's hear a cheer for 'plucky little Albania'!  And also let us remember the gallant words of dear, old Sir Henry Newbolt, "Play up! Play up! And play the game!"

 

Photos courtesy of The Daily Telegraph

 

Serbia v Albania match abandoned: in pictures

 

Serbia v Albania match abandoned: in pictures

 

Serbia v Albania match abandoned: in pictures

 

 

Serbia v Albania match abandoned: in pictures
 

 


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