Humor Magazine

If You Own Apple Shares - SELL - NOW!

By Davidduff

I can't say I ever knew much about the Apple founder, the late Mr. Steve Jobs, but what I did know of him I didn't much like.  On the other hand, I suspect that founders of great business enterprises are rarely likeable but that doesn't stop me admiring them.  Also, and again to be fair, Apple users are a total pain!  They are more like religious cult activists forever knocking on your door and chanting the virtues of Apple software in a way that Microsoft users never bother to do.  However, today my innate dislike of Apple has been galvanised by their new boss, some fanatical Greenie twit called Tim Cook.

If you own Apple shares - SELL - NOW!

The Independent reports that at a recent shareholders' meeting he was questiond by representatives of the National Centre for Public Policy Research (NCPPR), a conservative think-tank and investor, who were concerned at the likely returns (if any!) on the huge investments being made by Apple into various Greenie projects.  Cue: swivelling eye-balls, lip-spittle and a harangue from Mr. Cook who told the suckers  shareholders that Apple did  “a lot of things for reasons besides profit motive.  We want to leave the world better than we found it.”  Yeeeees, quite so, Mr. Cook, but perhaps you would care to remember that they're in it for the money not the love!

Since taking the helm at Apple in 2011, Cook has made notable improvements to the company’s use of renewable energy, increasing the use of solar, wind and geothermal resources used to power Apple’s offices from around a quarter of its total energy use to more than 75 per cent.

The 53-year-old has also committed millions of dollars of Apple’s money to various good causes – in contrast to his predecessor Jobs, who reportedly once told colleagues that giving money to charity was a waste of time.

Suddenly, that Jobs fella' doesn't sound so bad after all, particularly if you're daft enough to be an Apple shareholder!

If you own Apple shares - SELL - NOW!


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