Humor Magazine

I Quite Liked Them When They Wore Sandals and Only Ate Salad

By Davidduff

The stench of rotten corruption always smells twice as sweet when it emanates from the allegedly pure in heart, mind, body and soul.  Thus it is today with the il-Lib-non-Dem (iLnD) party who have forever insisted that unlike the other two parties they are honourable and above board and that the likes of Jeremy Thorpe, Paddy 'Pantsdown' and Mark Oaten are tiny aberrations on a calm lake of propriety.  That sort of worked when they were caricatured as sandal-wearing vegetarians with roughly the same chance of achieving high office as the proverbial snowball in hell.  But now these stinkers actually help run the country and one by one the skeletons are falling out of their cupboard.  It's not just that some of their members are creepy old pervs that matters but the fact that their entire leadership, starting (and finishing, I hope!) with 'St. Cleggeron the Sanctimonious', himself, have deliberately withheld the truth.  The end result is that most men despise them because the most their so-called 'male members' could manage was a touch-up or two and talking dirty to ladies.  (How Alan Clark, a superb Tory 'swordsman' of great repute, would have laughed and sneered at these limp iLnD efforts with the opposite sex!)  And, of course, now, most women despise them, too, not for the pathetic gropings of the men involved but the wimpish cover-up by senior men in their own party.

So come on, you chaps and chapettes, at the joint Euro and local elections in May you have your chance to slaughter these pathetic pervs and cover-up artists - so do it and send them all back to their muesli!


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