Fat.
It's a simple three letter word and it has haunted me for most of my life. I got to the point in my life where if someone was going to call me fat I'd come back with "Well yes I am, there's nothing like stating the obvious".
Fat is really subjective.
One day when I was in health class in High School my health teacher mentioned Marilyn Monroe. One of my classmates yelled out "She's fat". She has been a sex symbol for so many years, the epitome of Hollywood glamor and this guy is calling her fat!? Many people say that Marilyn Monroe would have been a 16 by today's standard and that makes her "fat". Well that is a misconception, she would not be a 16 today. According to Snopes.com Marilyn Monroe wasn't any bigger than a ten! She was 5'5" 1/2 and weighed 112 when she died and was about a size eight.
I just did a search with the terms "Marilyn Monroe is fat". I was shocked with the results. However, I see people who think she is fat are in the minority. I think she has a great body! I can only hope mine looks that good when I lose it all! I think we need to change labels. Instead of "fat" and "skinny" it should be "healthy" and "unhealthy". I say that because skinny is not always healthy and overweight isn't always unhealthy. I know women who are plus sized that work out and look great and are in no doubt healthy. No matter how big I got I had good blood pressure and relatively low cholesterol. However, I was eating crap and not drinking enough water, etc. Now I'm getting healthy! I may not exercise as much as I should but I'm definitely making better choices when I eat and drink.
When I lose it all I plan on it being a healthy weight, 145. It is on the higher end of the weight spectrum for someone who is 5'5". I might even be considered "fat" by some people. Well, I'll be a heck of a lot thinner and healthier than I was at 385. The whole obsession with weight thing seems to be an American thing. More specifically, Hollywood. I was just reading that some women in Hollywood that are under a size four are considered fat. Excuse me? I hate to see stories in the Hollywood media how so and so has slimmed down. Most of those people looked fine in the before pictures!
I used to know someone who is a recovering from anorexia. It has so many long term effects. I used to read her online journal and it was shocking how much we had in common. We both had distorted body images, I was in denial about being fat and she was in denial about being too skinny. We both had a horrible relationships with food. We both had deep psychological issues attached to our relationship with food. We were always battling with food. We were also putting ourselves in physical danger with our behavior.
On the other hand, I used to know someone on the web who was about 320 and 5'5". I actually read somewhere that she wanted to eat more and get to 400 pounds. If that makes her happy I'm happy for her. Is it healthy? No. However, who am I to judge?
Actually some people don't have a choice. I was one of them. I am not really sure how I got to the point that I realized I had a choice, but here I am. Being on Weight Watchers has been one of the more amazing experiences in my life! It was only six years since I last was in the 200's. However, It's been about 20 years since I've been in the 100's. I don't remember what it feels like to be thin. Being overweight is all I have known for the last 20 or so years.
Here is a picture of me when I was dancing. It some time after 1985 and was a about 13. That was the year we danced to the cover of "Just a Gigolo" by David Lee Roth. I was about 145 in this picture.
Now I realize that I won't have the same exact body, time and the fat has taken a bit of a toll on my body over the years. However, I do expect to be that weight and even that size when I lose it all.No matter what, even if I'm still considered "fat" by people when I'm down to 145 I don't care. I will be truly happy with myself for the first time in a long time and healthy.
