Humor Magazine

I Know, I Know, It's Nearly Three Years Away but Still ...

By Davidduff

I refer of course to the US presidential election in 2016 but it's not just me who is already discussing 'ifs, buts and maybes'.  The dreaded 'HillBilly' has been at it, er, well, ever since she lost the nomination to 'ol' Big Ears' back in 2008.  Apparently her election campaign has more money than the combined budgets of the EU Med nations!  So far, no one in the Democrat party comes anywhere near her in the polls and if I tell you that her closest 'rival' is that total plank, Joe Biden, you will know instantly that 'HillBilly' is, in effect, the sole runner.

Compare that to the Republican party.  There appear to be enough potential candidates to cast a Cecil B. de Mille film!  It looks very much like a re-run of 20012 in which a posse of Republican candidates opened fire on each other until the 'last man standing' was Mitt Romney who, one suspects, only lived (to die later!) because he was so slim in policy as well as physique that most shots missed.  I gather that the GOP leadership (I use the term loosely) is determined to shorten the selection process in order not to provide the media with a year of 'trash 'n' hash' stories concerning Republican hopefuls supplied by, er, Republican hopefuls! 

It is hardly worth mentioning, because it is so blindingly obvious, that virtually the entire American media will be 'hollerin' for Hillary', with the honourable exception of 'Farx Nooze'.  From this distance it would appear that 'HillBilly' has it made ... and yet ... and yet.  That is precisely what they said about her in 2008 until suddenly 'ol Big Ears' popped up and pipped her to the post.  (Incidentally, I would love to have been a fly on the wall when it became clear to 'HillBilly' that her campaign had failed - simply too, too, delicious!) 

Anyway, as it stands today, she has a clear but long run to the nomination and hence onwards to the presidential election itself - but, as old Will put it, "aye, there's the rub"!  Already, three years off and the stench of old calamities, old scandals, old gossip, is slowly but surely polluting her atmosphere.  Just in the last few days, a mass of papers belonging to a lady who was an intimate friend of Hillary has been released by her estate - she died in 2000.  Plenty of ammo there for the GOP to use and no doubt there will be more.  Not the least of her enemies, of course, are in the Left-wing of her own party - they detest her!  I would not be surprised if some of the more intelligent amongst them would be quite happy to take advantage of the fact that they now have no limits to national borrowing for three years and if they can ramp it up and drive the economy to crisis that will let in a GOP candidate, thereby doing down 'HillBilly' and allowing the Republicans to get their hands dirty as they try desperately to empty the nation's over-flowing debt sewage.  Perhaps they have glanced 'over here' and noticed that Cameron & Co have received little in the way of gratitude for their efforts, even in a small way, to deal with the shit-storm left by 'Brown & Balls, the Brokers Men'.  According to the polls, Labour stands a good chance of winning the next election despite their history. In other words, a four-year Republican presidency mired by an austerity campaign would open chances for a 'proper' Left-wing candidate in 2020.

Related articles
I know, I know, it's nearly three years away but still ...
"What difference, at this point, does it make?"
I know, I know, it's nearly three years away but still ...
Lefties desperately searching for reasons not to nominate Hillary
I know, I know, it's nearly three years away but still ...
Hillary Clinton Leads Potential 2016 Presidential Pack
I know, I know, it's nearly three years away but still ...
Krauthammer Rags on Dems' Inevitable Candidate Hillary Clinton: She's a Weak Presidential Candidate
I know, I know, it's nearly three years away but still ...
Hillary 2016 gets massive backing - MSNBC
I know, I know, it's nearly three years away but still ...
1,000 days until the election: What does it mean?

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog