I'm playing 'Baron Hardup' in this year's Christmas panto and it's my job to make all the kiddie-winkies cry and wet their beds for a week, set Mum against Dad in a series of blistering rows and cause Grandpa to pluck up courage after fifty years of marriage and finally tell Grandma what an old bag she is! To help spread this anti-Yuletide spirit I am sending you all not one but two non-Christmas cards sent forth by our less-than-glorious leaders that will, I am sure, give you indigestion before you even taste the wife's under-cooked turkey - heh-heh-heh! In no order of awfulness, here they are:
There is only one question worth asking after you have gulped down your second scotch, would you actually murder your 'postie' if he delivered these non-Christmas cards to your house? And finally, spare a thought for poor old Jesus Christ. Nailed to a cross where he must have hung in agony until he died, all for a cause which has produced these two dire examples of how not to celebrate his birth!
