Humor Magazine

I Demand to Know Why I Have Not Been Arrested for 'inappropriate Behaviour Towards Wimmin'!

By Davidduff

It's outrageous!  I have been sitting here twiddling my thumbs for the last few months waiting for 'the Plod' to come calling in order to question me about the many, I would go so far as to say very many, instances of inappropriate behavior I have instigated against various 'wimmin' - but not a sign of them!  Well, I mean to say, everyone and his uncle have been interviewed about what they got up to with girls back in the '70s and '80s but not me - and, boy oh boy, could I tell them a tale or two, or six - or seven, or seventeen, if they want.  Admittedly, mine date back to the '50s and '60s and my memory - like everything else, dammit! - isn't quite what it used to be, and it's also true that perhaps age adds, er, enchantment to the exact details, but even so, I have been sitting here patiently building up a profile - I think that's the word the police use - of my many conquering amorous campaigns and I am desperate to tell them all about it.  Well, the chaps in my local Saloon Bar don't seem to want to know any more, in fact they tend to drift off to the Public Bar when I come in,  but I don't care, I'm fed up with them nit-picking at various details which they claim keep changing over time.  I put it down to jealousy because none of them enjoyed the success I had with the ladies 'back in the day'.

By the way, did I ever tell you when I met Elizabeth Taylor  . . .

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Long Tail Pro: Best Keyword Research Tool for Getting Higher Rank in Search...

    Long Tail Pro: Best Keyword Research Tool Getting Higher Rank Search Engines

    Whenever it’s about an online keyword research tool, Long Tail Pro is at the top of the list. Long Tail Pro (LTP) is one of the prominent keyword research and... Read more

    6 hours, 54 minutes ago by   Seogdk
  • Are There ‘major Doubts’ About the Safety of Keto?

    There ‘major Doubts’ About Safety Keto?

    Another day, another scary news story... Last Thursday, Business Insider whipped up concern with this catchy headline: But are there really three huge new... Read more

    7 hours, 27 minutes ago by   Dietdoctor
  • Why Outsourcing Marketing is Good for Your Bottom Line

    Outsourcing Marketing Good Your Bottom Line

    When integrated marketers and their teams are in over their heads with a challenging workload, bringing in help from the outside makes sense. Rather than... Read more

    7 hours, 35 minutes ago by   Marketingtango
  • SkinMedica Review

    SkinMedica Review

    I have tried a lot of beauty products over the years. l've read the reviews, done the homework, and have learned that one's Holy Grail is not another's. Just... Read more

    7 hours, 35 minutes ago by   Wardrobeoxygen
  • He Says, She Says: The Language Of Sexual Consent

    With all that is going on with Judge kavanaugh and his ascent to the Supreme Court, colored by multiple accusations of sexual assault, I think it's an... Read more

    7 hours, 36 minutes ago by   Joanigeltman
  • What About Hell?

    What About Hell?

    By Elizabeth PrataI love to speak of Jesus's love, mercy, grace, salvation, and sanctification. However I also think it is important to speak of His justice,... Read more

    8 hours, 3 minutes ago by   Elizabethprata
  • Watch “Guddu Engineer” on the Zee5 App

    Watch “Guddu Engineer” Zee5 the soulful and mesmerizing romantic song of the film, "Guddu Engineer" which released last Friday, 14th September 2018 on ZEE5 as a part of the "ZEE5 Fil... Read more

    8 hours, 38 minutes ago by   Amreen Shaikh