Humor Magazine

"I Am Just Going Outside and May Be Some Time"

By Davidduff

I beg forgiveness for using the last words of a very brave man as a heading to a particularly frivolous post.  However, yesterday my new command-capsule-chair arrived which is the 'Good News' but, alas, the 'Bad News' is that I must now assemble it.  I shall do that in my car-port because there's not much point in lugging it up to my eyrie if I have to take the whole damn thing down again before dumping the mangled remains in the local tip!  The instructions make 'War and Peace 'look modest.  The first thing that I found in the enormous box was a bag filled with enough screws, bolts and washers to build the QEII.  Obviously the margin for error is enormous!  Of course, it is possible that I may succeed in assembling it but will I have the nerve to actually sit in it?  I have warned the neighbours, many of whom are elderly widows, that the language in my near vicintiy is likely to be blue.  The 'Memsahib', needless to say, has suddenly found a dozen things she needs to see to in Sherborne!  So that means I shall have to make my own cups of tea as I slave away.  I thought marriage was all about sharing!


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