Humor Magazine

I Admit It, That Fat Git, Tom Watson, Convinced Me!

By Davidduff

No 'Sunday Rumble' today, only a series of moans and groans as I stretch my aching bones after yet another day of drudgery in the 'garden'.  However, during my (several) tea breaks I kept seeing on the TV that rather too smooth Tory MP, Adam Afriyie, who is planning to push for a referendum on the EU before the next election.  To be honest, I wasn't too sure how to re-act because there are at least two different ways to view it.  First, you can consider the rights and wrongs of an EU referendum on their own merits, and certainly I want one desperately, but I want a proper one at the most auspicious moment, that is, when Brussels is even more odious to the British electorate than usual.  This is important because whilst polls always indicate a majority against the EU it is never quite strong enough in my opinion and I fear that, in the heat of a referendum with the government machine in full support of staying in, it would melt like an ice cream on a summer's day.

Also, the 'commentariat' seem to suspect that Mr. Afriyie's main aim is not so much to rescue us from the EU but to poke 'Dim Dave' in the eye with a sharp stick in order to better place himself in any future leadership contest.  Normally, of course, I would offer to sharpen the stick for him, and whilst I admire the way Mr. Afriyie has ducked and dived his way out of a Peckham council estate and up into multi-millionaire status that is insufficient grounds to support him - at this stage.

Even so, I am a cheer leader for the 'Dave Must Go' movement despite a sinking feeling when I consider the likely replacements - and that includes Mr. Afriyie.  I still prefer my plan, that is, for everyone every where, to vote UKIP at the next European elections in the spring irrespective of whether or not the candidates stand a chance of winning because if the total UKIP vote nationwide is immense it will terrify the Tory party into ditching Dave.  Tory MPs will only 'let go of nurse for fear of something worse' if that fear is their total obliteration at the next general election which will happen if UKIP nick enough of normally Tory voters.  If that happens and Dave goes then there is sufficient time for a new leader to promise a referendum after the election.

And there is another factor to be considered.  Apparently, according to Richard North at EU Referendum, there are serious moves afoot in Europe to make one last heave to get the keystone of the 'New Frankish Empire' into place.  I'm ashamed to say that one of the malefactors is a Duff, in this case, Andrew Duff MEP, a big-wig il-Lib-non-Dem.  Still, we must not do down his and his federalist fanatical cronies' efforts to push for a new treaty designed to create the United States of Europe.  They are hoping to get this rolling in 2015 which, to say the least, will be a bit of an embuggerance factor for Dave to try and renegotiate a looser arrangement with Britain!  Bring it on, I say, and provide the 'Great British Public' with a starkly clear choice - be a province inside a new nation-state, or stay out and stay independent?

So, by and large, I was tending to oppose Mr. Afriyie's ambitious manouvrings.  Not that I condemn him for ambition, all politicians have it and it wouldn't do to have the country run by people who have no real desire to do it.  But as I havered, and after a great deal of 'on the one hand', and 'on the other hand', I eventually ran out of hands and at that point in lumbered the 'fat git' of my title, Mr. Tom Watson MP, a man I have never met but who I am prepared to wager is one of the biggest shits in parliament!  He, a labour fixer to his raw and bruised knuckles, has thrown his support behind the elegant multi-millionaire Tory, Mr. Affriyie, and his idea of an early referendum.  That clinches it for me, anything that is good for Mr. Watson is a shit-storm in the making for everyone else - end of!


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

Paperblog Hot Topics

Magazines