If you haven’t experienced failure or a setback in your career, you’re either right at the start of it or you need to set higher goals.
If you haven’t experienced failure or a setback in your career, you’re either right at the start of it or you need to set higher goals. If you have experienced failure, you’ll know how difficult it can be to move on from it. Once we have that reference in our minds, it can prevent us from attempting new things or taking the risks that are necessary to get to a higher level.
Let me tell you an abridged version of one of my own failures – and how I eventually moved on from it. (Remember, life tends to teach us the same lesson over and over again until we learn it). I once, early on in my career, wasn’t allocated on a project that I was working towards. At the time I was absolutely devastated. I was told that I could go for a different project in six months’ time, but given I’d been working towards it already for a year, this didn’t thrill me. I eventually got allocated onto a different project but not before my confidence was heavily knocked and I felt the impact of failure. I was also drawn to comparing myself with the person who was allocated on the project.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that the project – or non-project – didn’t actually have any bearing on my skills or talents, but what the role called for. I still had some learning to do for that role, but felt that I had also been let down in that I hadn’t been fostered in my development to the point where I did have the skills to get allocated onto that project – given I had let it be known that I’d been working towards it for 12 months.
I was suitably disappointed and disillusioned, however as per an article I read recently on Women’s Agenda, quoting Dr Caroline Hong – the CEO of three companies, a dentist, and a woman who has served on the boards of numerous organisations in Australia and Asia, “It’s firstly about getting out of your comfort zone and actually challenging yourself in difficult situations,” she said. “It’s practicing, and really being prepared to actually be rejected, be humiliated. Not many people are willing to do that but unless you’re willing to go through that exercise, you will never improve.”
I stretched myself and didn’t achieve what I wanted to, when I wanted it – but at least I was stretching myself. This is the key for progress.
“It’s firstly about getting out of your comfort zone and actually challenging yourself in difficult situations,” she said. “It’s practicing, and really being prepared to actually be rejected, be humiliated. Not many people are willing to do that but unless you’re willing to go through that exercise, you will never improve.” – Dr Caroline Hong
It’s actually when things go wrong, and when the unexpected takes you through its twists and turns, that you actually start to grow and develop.
The trick is to be solid enough in order to be able to deal with it. There’s a few things you can do to move past failure and also to become stronger in order to cope with the inevitable future failures that will help you to grow and expand outside of your comfort zone.
1. Get a mentor.
This is one of the biggest ways I have found to get perspective. Often, small scenarios can grow in our minds and become huge situations. Really, all the situation may need is a slight tweak. Get yourself a mentor who can shed light and another perspective on the issues you’re facing – or offer advice and guidance through their experience, even if you’re not facing any issues! I have found that getting a mentor (or more than one in various areas) is one of the fastest ways to develop confidence, to move past obstacles, and to grow further.
2. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Never make it ALL about career. Being well-balanced is about having interests and pursuits outside of work. This could be any type of interest, including sports, music or art as a few examples, but it’s important that it’s an activity that you can become lost in, and get into the ‘flow’ with, in order that you have something to turn to when you need to relieve stress. Ideally, something with a social component will assist further because you will be taken out of your every day troubles and mixed with like-minded people outside of work – one of the greatest stress-busters there is. I personally, as you know, love yoga!
3. When you have a bad day, don’t take it out on yourself.
I have always been really terrible at this. My first instinct has always been to beat myself up when something goes wrong; to think in minute detail how I could have done something differently to get a better result. While analysing, learning and using lessons to avoid similar mistakes in future is useful, it’s pointless to beat yourself up. Have compassion for yourself first, and realize that you did the best you could with the information and knowledge you had at the time.
4. Apologise swiftly and move on quickly.
Whether or not you need to apologize to someone else or yourself, if at all, don’t dwell on it. Admit if you’ve made a mistake and state how you will prevent making that same mistake in future. Then, move on. You will be well respected for your strength and you will also be doing yourself a favour by mentally getting past this obstacle. Not only that, but it’s likely that you’ve learnt a valuable lesson that you will take with you for life. If the situation hadn’t happened, you would never have learnt such an amazing lesson.
5. Look to the future
Once you’ve looked at the situation, accepted it and analysed it where necessary, move past it by looking to the next project. Move on quickly – it’s too easy to take a backseat and never again find the courage to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone for fear of failure. Make some plans and get acting – with your new lessons tucked nicely under your belt.
What are your tips for moving past career setbacks?
