Humor Magazine

Hissin' and Dissin' Miss Isinbayeva

By Davidduff

The problem with Miss Isinbayeva and her outspoken view on homosexuality is that she didn't go far enough!  She objected, apparently, to public displays of affection by homosexuals.  I quite agree but I would go further and demand an end to public displays of affection between anyone and that includes heteros, mummies and their 'lickle kiddie-winkies', 'footie' players whose team has just scored a goal, 'luvvies' going on stage to collect their Oscars, Muslim leaders greeting each other with not one but three smackeroos on alternative cheeks . . . the list is endless.  Even the 'Memsahib' has had to be retrained over the years to stop her indulging in acts of affection and so now a proper decent handshake is all that passes between us.  I feel quite strongly about this because I was once transfixed and traumatised on a tube-train journey by a young couple sitting opposite who indulged in the longest kiss I have ever witnessed, so long, indeed, that I feared the young girl might die of asphyxiation, and so relentless was theyoung man's invasion of his girlfriend's mouth that I fully expected his tongue to appear out of her ear.  Not a pleasant sight!  Mind you, having said all that, I wouldn't say no to a bit of, er, affection, public or otherwise, with Miss Isinbayeva, she looks rather attractive to me.

Attack: Isinbayeva, pictured celebrating her weekend win, hit out at Swedish athlete Emma Green-Tregaro's support for the LGBT community

 

I gather from various reports that she, like her glorious leader, 'Vlad the Impaler', wants homosexuality banned and prohibited.  Well, good luck with that, Yelena, it's been around since the creation so don't hold your breath.  Also, you might tell 'Vlad' to stop his habit of posing semi-naked at every opportunity, it's driving the homosexuals mad with lust:

Hissin' and dissin' Miss Isinbayeva

Oh, sweet buns, what a big, shiny weapon you have!

 


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