Humor Magazine

Hey, America, How Did You Manage Without Me?

By Davidduff

Awfully well, by the look of the Republican primary in Virginia in which the second most senior Republican in the House of Representatives was defeated by an unknown who spent pennies on his campaign against the millions by the incumbent, Eric Cantor.  Alas, what with holidays and computer problems over recent weeks I have been unable to burden bore advise y'all on how to vote but you seem to have managed it all on your own - jolly good show! 

The experts are indulging in a mass head-scratching exercise to explain the impossible - all the polls had Eric Cantor ahead by a huge margin - but most of them seem to agree that it was Cantor's double-speak in regard to immigration reform which did for him.  To paraphrase an old Indian saying, 'Jewish politician speak with forked tongue', saying one thing whilst up there with his fellow 'Congress critters' and quite another to the hicks voters back home.  However, in this modern age the 'hicks' were briefed by the internet and by popular radio talk-show hosts who kept them well-informed.  Also, various branches of the Tea Party organisation managed to get their acts together and rally in unity behind the challenger.  This was in contrast to their fellow Tea Partiers in South Carolina who split their support between various challengers to that arch-all-things-to-all-men-smoothie, Lindsey Graham, who waltzed back in with a huge majority.

Even so, the GOP hierarchy have been given something to think about by this shock result from Virginia.  And, most extraordinary of all, y'all managed it without any words of advice and guidance from me!

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