One of the things that kept me going on my weight gain were my personal heroes. I have always admired people who are not afraid of being themselves and always do the right thing no matter what. Two of the people who embody that for me are the singer Meat Loaf and activist and philanthropist Molly Brown. They are both known, and I won't use the "f" word, for being larger people. The reason I mention their size is the simple reason that society does not approve of larger people. Yes, society has become more accepting over the years. However, both Molly and Meat have become legends in their own rights regardless of size. That to me is, and not pun intended, huge.
Meat Loaf is my favorite singer. He is one of my personal heroes for a few reasons: he's an incredible singer, he is very irreverent, very passionate, has a huge heart, he's not afraid to be himself and he's a big guy. Although he does seem rather crabby and has a nasty temper. Which I know he has worked on and that makes me respect him that much more. Regardless, he has made his way to superstar status regardless of his size and his past. However, he's been playing Russian roulette with his health for years. It was the worst in the 70's and 80's when he was his heaviest and using drugs. It ultimately culminated in him being declared clinically dead for 40 seconds in the late 80's. I saw him in the early 90's when he was on the Bat Out of Hell 2 tour, he was healthy and had lost a lot of weight. It was his big comeback. He looked great! I saw him again in 2007 on the Bat Out Hell 3 tour and he had gained some weight, which I understand, he had gotten older and I understand the whole weight gain/loss cycle. I later found out while watching the documentary "In Search of Paradise" he was far unhealthier than I thought he was. He takes all kinds of supplements and things to keep him going. The man is old enough to be my father, yet he performs the crap out of his songs every time he sings. The man just leaves everything on the stage for his fans; I also suspect for the love of performing and music too. Regardless of how unhealthy he may be, he is an incredible singer, a passionate individual, not afraid to be himself and goes out of his way for his music and his fans and that is what makes him one of my heroes.
Another one of my "heavy heroes" is Margaret Brown also known as Molly Brown who was called "Maggie" by her friends. She was a less than acceptable by Edwardian society woman who who married a gold baron and sailed on the Titanic in 1912 and lived to tell about it. She is not terribly big but it could just be my distorted view of what big looks like. There I go digressing again. Anyway, she did what she thought was right and didn't give a damn who disapproved! She was active in the woman's suffrage movement, she also helped rebuild France after World War I. She ran for senate! Twice! Once in 1909 and then again in 1914, which was definitely not something a lady would have done back then. She helped destitute children and helped start the first juvenile court system which later lead to the formation of today's U.S. juvenile court system.. When the Titanic sank in 1912 she actually helped row the lifeboat and demanded that Quartermaster Hichens turn the lifeboat around and look for survivors. She was a ill-mannered rebel by Edwardian society's standards and she has inspired me to not be afraid to be who I am or ashamed of where I come from. She also has inspired me to speak my mind, do the right thing no matter what people think and not live within set gender/society's roles.
We all have our heroes, mine can be considered a bit odd, but hey, live and let live. I guess you could say their example helped me be strong through the really heavy days. However, they also helped me keep going like I was because I had learned from them to be whoever you are no matter what. I thought that eating too much and being fat was being me no matter what. I thought it was my right to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I thought I would be big forever. I'm so glad I've changed my way of thinking.
I was killing myself slowly with food. So glad I've seen the light. Granted, I expect to see many obstacles in my way with my weight loss journey. I don't expect it to be easy once I get down to lower points. However, there are some days I don't eat all of my points! I guess I'll cross those bridges when I get to them. I will forever be grateful that Meat Loaf and Molly Brown are who they are and gave me a great example to live by, even if it exacerbated my weight problem. They still are great examples of passionate people who have/had huge hearts no matter what size they are/were. It makes me wonder if they hadn't had so much adversity would they be who they are/were. I know if it wasn't for my size and all of the experiences I had I wouldn't be who I am today and I like who I am and who I am becoming. Can't wait until I am out from hiding under all of this fat and show myself to the world.
PS: Jennifer Hudson just recently became one of my new personal heroes. She is the reason I joined Weight Watchers! I watched her on American Idol and thought he was one of my BBW sisters until she lost weight. I just kept seeing her on the WW commercials and it made me want to be on the plan. I don't know what it is that I connect with about her but it's working! Thank you Jennifer!
