I have had two fathers in my life. One that abandoned his family and one that broke it. A dad is supposed to protect their little children…so what went so wrong with me?
My biological father left before I was ever born, a secret that my family choose never to acknowledge.
Instead a foundation of lies was established, that this strange man in my house sneaking into closed doors was my dad. Funny thing is you can not lie to a child’s spirt.This man was not my biological father at all. The dots become connected as to why “dad” got so angry when I tried calling him by his real name and got shot down with an angry faced reply, “you will call me by dad”.
I can not seem to form the words to describe the horrors of living in a house without locks. I remember a little face hiding inside the closet in sheer terror. The feeling of going to school and realizing that I forgot to put on my underwear in the cayos of the morning rush to elementary school. Then on the bus ride home hitting my head against the window wishing I was dead.
It was not until I meet my fourth grade teacher, that I realized what a father really should be. He started the year with a wonderful exercise that changed my life. He had us take out a piece of paper and write down our failures and all the things that we believed we couldn’t do. Next he proceeded to bring the class outside and buried all of our papers in a shoebox deep in the earth. He always reminded us that,
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
-Harriet Tubman
That year he took out extra time out to patiently teach my dyslexic brain how to comprehend long division. He cared and listen and wanted nothing in return for his kindness.
I thank God for putting this kind man in my life, who gave a little suicidal girl hope for a future. You may never know how your compassion can save a life. Find the courage to burry your fears today and search for a brighter future.
Stay strong beautiful friends<3 You are not alone
