Humor Magazine

Has Dallas Moved to Louisana?

By Davidduff

[Sorry, sorry, I started this post first thing this morning but the sun kept shining and the temperatures kept rising and so, ignoring the complaints of the neighbours who simply don't know a good thing when they see it, I stripped to the waist and wearing my shorts, I began planting my garden - all five square feet of it!  Hence the 'blogitis interruptus'!]

It goes without saying, of course, that all the regular readers of this distinguished blog are ladies and gentlemen of impeccable taste and discernment but, come on, people, 'fess up and admit that back in the'80s you all watched "Dallas".  I didn't, of course, because, as I recounted the other day, I was always engrossed in my books on 'ekonomiks and flosophy'.  Unfortunately, despite my complaints, the 'Memsahib' insisted on having the TV on to watch it every week so, shrug, what's a body to do but go along with it?  Needless to say she was right and I was wrong, so no change there, then, because the series was total tosh - but terrific tosh!  As 'our Will' discovered with Richard III, you can always push a relatively second-rate play up the popularity polls if you can invent a truly evil but witty villain.  'JR', played superbly by the late Larry Hagman, was just such a charming but deadly 'baddie'.


Larry Hagman: the superstar who made history
Richard III

    Richard III   Larry Hagman as 'JR' 

But alas for writers of all eras, including 'our Will', no matter how wicked their plots, 'True Life' comes along and shows them there is nothing new under the sun.  Thus, as regular readers of the Lafayette Advertiser - er, you are regular readers of that distinguished Louisiana paper of record, I trust! - will know already, a cruel family crime has taken place involving what looks like fraternal hatred.

The story involves two brothers who were co-directors of a company founded by their parents called Knight Oil Tools.  Last June, the younger brother, Bryan Knight, was arrested following a police stop and search on his car which produced two magnetic tins hidden under the bodywork and containing a large stash of illegal drugs.  However, in December the case was dismissed and now the plot really sickens thickens.  Now, it is the elder brother, Mark Knight, who stands accused of bribing a company employee and two policemen with over $100k to plant the drugs under his brother's car.

I can't wait to see the next episode and if Larry Hagman makes an appearance I will be delighted - yes, yes, I know he's dead but that man is capable of anything!


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