Humor Magazine

Government Cuts and the Unicorn - What Characteristic Do They Share?

By Davidduff

With his usual succinct clarity John Redwood spells out the deceit that lies - and 'lies' is a very suitable word in the context - behind our government's propaganda.  Did you think that HMG was taking, to use the childlike language their spokesmen tend to use, 'really, really' tough decisions in their never-ending search to cut government spending?  If you did, allow me to interest you in this one, careful, old lady owner, Morris Marina, only 15 thousand miles, good as new, I'm a fool to sell it so low but for you a special price  . . . well, no need of more heavy-handed irony, you get the message.

Last month government spending roared away to a 9% increase over October last year.  Golly-gosh, how those government departments must be suffering as they search desperately for more things to cut but somehow need a nearly 10% increase to do so:

Spending  was up generally. Benefit spending rose, thanks to the increases in rates last autumn. General expenditure was also up. Over the six months spending was up in cash and real terms, but by a lesser amount.

The result is that the very nearly £6bn we borrowed from the international 'Shylocks' last October shot up to £8.6bn this October.  And lest you believe what you read in your papers - you don't do that, do you? - Redwood puts you right:

It would be good if the media reported that the main reason for the bad October figures  was the sharp increase in current spending, but don’t hold your breath. I expect they will continue to ignore this inconvenient fact. They are buying the spin line that a fall in corporation tax receipts is the culprit. The problem with that explanation is the fall in CT is less than the increased deficit, whereas the rise in spending is more than the increased deficit. Clearly these media commentators don’t do numbers or even read the official figures.

So, the next time you hear a government minister weeping over the tough budgetary decisions he or she has made - pelt them with rotten veg - if you can afford it!

 


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