Humor Magazine

God, I'm Brave!

By Davidduff

Yes, I am although my natural English modesty would not permit me to boast of the fact.  Even so, the fact is that I have been struck down with a vicious and hitherto unknown version of 'GGGMF'.  Waddya mean, what's 'GGGMF'?  'Ginormous Galloping Gross Man Flu', of course!  But why 'the fickle finger of fate' should point at me I do not know.  Anyway, the end result is that for the last few days my throat feels as though someone has been working hard on it with sandpaper!  I croaked out an apology to the 'Memsahib' for the fact that I am now barely able to speak and, I know you will find this hard to believe, but I think I saw a slight smile on her face.  Also, I am coughing up buckets of, er, 'matter' which, when examined closely, reminds me instantly of the sort of semi-fluid concoction we used to produce 'back in the day' with the left-over tins from our ration packs at the end of a long field exercise.  Everything went in, meat, cheese, puds, the lot - delicious when you're freezing cold and starving!  Anyway, happily there is no signs of blood so I guess I must just brave it out by relying on my courage and, of course, a constant 24-hour delivery of cups of tea.  Thank God the 'Memsahib's' hip-op has gone well and she is now able to get up and down the stairs using her bum whilst carrying my tea and not spilling a drop.  Well, as I said to her, you can never do enough for a good husband.  I didn't quite catch her reply - perhaps my hearing is going as well!

 


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