Sometimes 'thank you' just isn't enough. Yes, indeed, there are some acts undertaken by some people which are simply too excellent, too brim-full of goodness and intelligence to go unrewarded and simple gratitude, frankly, is insufficient.
Thus, the lady (and alas, her name has not be printed - can't think why!) in Orpington who opened her door to a bunch of Halloween kiddie-winkies having dressed herself as a butcher wearing a blood-stained apron, wielding a meat-cleaver and offering the afore-mentioned kiddie-winkies a real bleeding sheep's heart deserves not just the Freedom of Orpington but a 'Ladyship' at the hands of Her Maj!
This woman has struck a blow on behalf of us all who year after year are pestered with wretched, snot-dribbling, apprentice hooligans knocking on our doors shouting 'trick or treat' frequently accompanied by their smiling, doting and retarded parents all of whom deserve to be reported to Haringey Social Services. Well, my little monsters, now that this lady has struck a blow for us all in resistance to this 'stoopid' American import, my sincere advice is not to try knocking on my door next year. I will be working with my theater group's make-up artist and wardrobe lady, to say nothing of my local butcher, to provide you with a one-man show which I am confident will remain in your nightmares dreams for years to come.
