Humor Magazine

For Goodness Sake, Spain, I Was Depending on You!

By Davidduff

I think I must blame my e-pal, Ortega, for the last two disastrous nights.  Well, someone is to blame and he's the only Spaniard I know!  Whatever, the prospect is appalling.  Following the 4-0 destruction of Barcelona last night by Bayern Munich, and the almost equal catastrophe tonight in which Dortmund crushed Real Madrid 4-1, it is beyond hope that the situation can be reversed in the second legs.  Thus, we face the prospect of hordes of Huns invading Wembley later this year for the European title!  It's bad enough suffering the dreadful sight of tens of thousands of big beer bellies from 'ooop north' as they descend on us posh southerners to settle this or that footie competition, but the thought of even bigger bratworst and beer bellies from both north and south Germany is simply too much!  No one would have minded an all-Spanish final at Wembley because after all Spain is more or less our second home these days, and even the most fanatical fan would admit that Barcelona and Real Madrid are the greatest teams in the world - or at least, they were up until the last two nights!  The memory of the great Real Madrid team of yesteryear, packed with unforgettable stars, er, whose names I seem to have forgotten (except 'Becks', of course), remains with me but today's team were whatever the Spanish is for rubbish.  Anyway, I don't know when the final is but I can only urge 'Dave' to give us all a holiday so that we can abandon London to the Hunnish hordes and all go off to Spain!


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