Slightly late for reasons I have made clear elsewhere but Guido is reporting that my favorite 'Fat Black Clown' is hinting that she might stand for Mayor of London thus replacing the 'Fat Blonde Clown' who claims to have been in charge for the last five years. Poor London, in Shakespeare's day it had constant attacks of plague, then later on it caught fire which no sooner had it been put out than the Germans came and set light to it again! Perhaps worse than all these calamities was the lip-dribbling, Left-wing idiocy of 'Ken the Klown' Livingstone. God knows what lunacy the Fat Black Clown will get up to but I must warn my London readers that she does come rather expensive!
Boris Johnson
Dianne Abbott