Baseball Magazine

Oft-Injured Victorino Implores Fans to Stop Telling Him "Every Little Thing's Gonna Be All Right"

By Callofthegreenmonster @cotgm

 

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The song blares out from the loudspeaker each time Shane Victorino (when healthy) comes to the plate. The fans sing along to Bob Marley's classic "Three Little Birds," and the catchy refrain, "every little thing's gonna be all right," echoes through the crowd. But, Call of the Green Monster has learned that Victorino has had enough of the upbeat melody.

"I was injured a lot last year, and most of this year," he recently ranted. "For goodness sakes, people, stop telling me it's all gonna be all right, it's not! I can't stay healthy!"

Despite his ongoing misfortune, Victorino doesn't look entirely on the dark side. "The one little thing that IS gonna be all right are the paychecks, baby. Three years at $13 million per, no matter if I never play another game. THAT is totally all right."

Ben Cherington fumed when apprised of Victorino's comments. "Seems like every time I hear that stupid song on the radio, I get a report from Pawtucket that Shane 'tweaked' something," he said. "He can't keep complaining about 'every little' pain he's got. We need him to play."


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