Humor Magazine

Ding Dong, British 'lèse-majesté' is Alive and Well

By Davidduff

The newspapers really are desperate these days and given the height of the cliff over which their advertising revenues have plunged it is hardly surprising.  This very recent chart (courtesy of The Passive Voice) is based on American figures but I'm sure the same applies 'over here' :


Consequently, it seems the newspapers are diving lower and lower to highlight stories that might catch the attention of the pig ignorant and the great unwashed.  Well, it's a market and if it is true that in a democracy we get the politicians we deserve then it is also true that with a free press we get the newspapers we deserve. 

I raise this, of course, in the light of the current SHLOCK-HORROR (non-)story concerning a few thousand 'youfs' and 'youfettes', most of whom were not even alive when 'that woman' was in power, who have contrived to use electronic media to vote the old Disney song, "Ding Dong the witch is dead", into the top-of-the-pops song chart.  Lashed by The Daily Mail, the poor old BBC is turning in ever decreasing circles like a destroyer with a jammed rudder whilst shouting contradictory orders to its lower deck minions as to whether or not the record should be played prior to the lady's funeral.  Needless to say, as sure as night follows day, another record, of which I had never heard, called "I love Maggie Thatcher" is now rapidly climbing the charts and one waits with, er, well, hardly bated breath but certainly with considerable sardonic amusement to see whether it gets higher than "Ding Dong".

Everyone, except me it seems, is 'shocked, I tell you, shocked'.  I am not because the day we start to fall into regimented lines and under orders from government loud-speakers parade on the streets wailing and gnashing our teeth in time to sombre military music at the passing of a prime minister is the time that I shall emigrate to North Korea where they do that sort of thing so much better than we could ever manage.  I have always followed the spirit of the late Auberon Waugh who urged us, upon sight of any politician, to shout out loud and clear, "Show us your willie!"   Of course, as this has all arisen because of the forthcoming funeral for a former and very distinguished prime minister it is all in very bad taste but then again, 'that woman' left a very bad taste in a lot of mouths.  The fact that I, personally, was then and remain today deeply contented that those particular mouths were forced to eat shit does not alter my opinion that they should feel free to splutter it out as best they can now that she is dead.  After all, when she was alive she was too smart, too intelligent and too tough for them to lay a finger on her.  Let the record be played, and in full, too, whilst sundry BBC types masturbate with pleasure and their eager young listeners drool and dribble.  It says so much about them - and so much about the lady who will forever stand head and shoulders above the lot of them.

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