Watching Obama and Romney vying for the world record in lickspittling as they race hither and thither prostrating themselves, temporarily, of course, before the great unwashed is a pretty disgusting spectacle which should be banned on the grounds that it is an utterly depraved and sickening spectacle. I have it on good authority that the people of the so-called ‘swing States’ are in need of an emergency United Nations relief operation to fly in several tons of soporifics because swathes of them have been driven insane by 24-hour, non-stop, political advertising for the last three months. I have only caught a glimpse of these ads via Fox News but even on that tiny sampling I feel their pain.
One almost yearns for a latter-day Coriolanus to run for president. He had nothing but contempt for ‘the people’ and when he was told that he needed to stand in the market place and bid for their ‘voices’ he refused point blank:
- Menenius Agrippa. It then remains
That you do speak to the people. - Coriolanus. I do beseech you,
Let me o'erleap that custom, for I cannot
Put on the gown, stand naked and entreat them,
For my wounds' sake, to give their suffrage: please you
That I may pass this doing. - Sicinius Velutus. Sir, the people
Must have their voices; neither will they bate
One jot of ceremony. - Menenius Agrippa. Put them not to't:
Pray you, go fit you to the custom and
Take to you, as your predecessors have,
Your honor with your form. - Coriolanus. It is a part
That I shall blush in acting, and might well
Be taken from the people. - Junius Brutus. Mark you that?
- Coriolanus. To brag unto them, thus I did, and thus;
Show them the unaching scars which I should hide,
As if I had received them for the hire
Of their breath only!
Well, of course, in the end he is forced to do it and the result is the sort of public relations train crash likely to cause the campaign managers for Obama and Romney to have nightmares and wake up screaming! Menenius is the campaign manager for Coriolanus as he enters the market place to face ‘The People’:
- Coriolanus. What must I say?
'I Pray, sir'—Plague upon't! I cannot bring
My tongue to such a pace:—'Look, sir, my wounds!
I got them in my country's service, when
Some certain of your brethren roar'd and ran
From the noise of our own drums.'
- Menenius Agrippa. O me, the gods!
You must not speak of that: you must desire them
To think upon you.
- Coriolanus. Think upon me! hang 'em!
I would they would forget me, like the virtues
Which our divines lose by 'em. - Menenius Agrippa. You'll mar all:
I'll leave you: pray you, speak to 'em, I pray you,
In wholesome manner. - [Exit]
- Coriolanus. Bid them wash their faces
And keep their teeth clean.
Oh dear, not the best of starts! Mind you, I bet that’s what Obama, Romney and, of course, Dave ‘n’ Ed, say but they are shrewd enough to keep it private! For forthright, honest Coriolanus, it gets ‘worserer and worserer’!
- Fourth Citizen. You have deserved nobly of your country, and you
have not deserved nobly.
- Coriolanus. Your enigma?
- Fourth Citizen. You have been a scourge to her enemies, you have
been a rod to her friends; you have not indeed loved
the common people.
- Coriolanus. You should account me the more virtuous that I have
not been common in my love. I will, sir, flatter my
sworn brother, the people, to earn a dearer
estimation of them; 'tis a condition they account
gentle: and since the wisdom of their choice is
rather to have my hat than my heart, I will practice
the insinuating nod and be off to them most
counterfeitly; that is, sir, I will counterfeit the
bewitchment of some popular man and give it
bountiful to the desirers. Therefore, beseech you,
I may be consul.
Oh, no, no, no, ‘Cori’, darling, whatever else you do never, but never, tell ‘em the truth – that’s the last thing they want to hear! Needless to say, it ends in 'tears before bedtime'. So I suppose we must learn the lesson and stick with our rough and ready democracy even if it means putting up with these lying liars regularly doing what they do best – lying!
Thanks to Open Source Shakespeare.
